IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many historical sites and museums are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people to visit these historical sites and museums?

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In recent years, there are less people
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 historical
sites
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 and
museums
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 in their
hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
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. These tourist
spots
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 are less attractive to
locals
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 because the
residents
Use synonyms
already
Add a missing verb
are already
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 familiar with these places. To solve the problem, I believe that these
spots
Use synonyms
 can hold new exhibitions or activities to attract
locals
Use synonyms
. One primary reason that
residents
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
are
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 not interested in their own historical
sites
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 and
museums
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 is that they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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are already familiar with these
sites
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. To be specific, since it is likely for them to
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
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with
Change preposition
in
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 these places since they were born, they understand the cultural background and detailed information of these
spots
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 very deeply and it is
unnessasary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 for them to revisit.
For example
Linking Words
, people who
live
Wrong verb form
have lived
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 in Rome for their lifetime have used to historical
sites
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,
such
Linking Words
 as various cathedrals and monuments very well ,unlike tourists, they will not feel
astonishing
Replace the word
astonished
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 again when seeing these common
achitactures
Correct your spelling
architectures
architecture
. Eventually, they are no longer enthusiastic
toward
Change preposition
about
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 these buildings and it would be reasonable for them not to visit these tourist
spots
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 again. A key solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue is that
museums
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 or these historical
sites
Use synonyms
 can hold innovative exhibitions and activities to attract
locals
Use synonyms
. Since they already feel bored with
sites
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 that
integral
Add a missing verb
are integral
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into
Change preposition
to
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 their life, authorities can stimulate their willingness
of visiting
Change preposition
to visit
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 these
spots
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 by holding up-to-date exhibitions that always provide
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
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 displays for
locals
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.
For example
Linking Words
, they can collaborate with
museums
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 in other regions or promote cultural exchange programs with local artists. These special events that
locols
Correct your spelling
locals
 never know before will
natually apeal
Correct your spelling
naturally appear
 to them and the likelihood of visiting increases. (not only… but
also
Linking Words
: attract
locals
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 promoting these other
museums
Use synonyms
 & artists) In conclusion, I suggest that because of familiarity, local
residents
Use synonyms
 stop visiting their own historical
sites
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
 and the government can tackle the issues by offering numerous events for
residents
Use synonyms
 to participate
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents the main ideas clearly, but some sentences could be worded more effectively for improved clarity. Consider revising awkward phrases and ensuring that your arguments are expressed in a straightforward manner.
task achievement
Some minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'there are less people' should be 'there are fewer people') detract from the overall impression of your writing. Carefully proofread your work to avoid these types of mistakes.
task achievement
You offer a clear reason for why locals may not visit historical sites, providing a personal example to support your point about familiarity. This adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
The recommendation to hold innovative exhibitions and activities to attract locals is a valuable contribution to the discussion, showing your ability to think critically about the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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