Some people think that young peopie should choose their professions themselves. Others believe that their parents should choose for them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that choosing a
profession
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is one of the most important steps in our lives.
While
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a commonly held belief
that
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is that
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profession
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choosing should be done by the
parents
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of the younger generation, there is
also
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an argument that they should have the free will to choose.
To begin
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with, some individuals believe that the decision to choose a
profession
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should be made by the younger generation
,
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apply
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because they know their preferences and what they are able to do.
In other words
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, most youth are aware of their strengths and weaknesses.
In addition
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, forcing them to work on something they are not passionate about may affect their personality negatively and lower their self-esteem.
For example
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, if a person is passionate about business and has creative thoughts, but his
parents
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want him to become and doctor or any other related
profession
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,
this
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will contribute to many
phycological
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psychological
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problems and may affect the relationship between them badly.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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say that the
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profession
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professional
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choosing decision must be taken by the
parents
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without consulting their sons or daughters. It is possible to say that
this
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belief comes from a place where some young
people
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are not aware of themselves and their
parents
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know them better.
Moreover
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, raising a child without giving him the space to experience life and the right to choose can lead to lower self-awareness, and
also
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having no personal goals.
For example
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, I know a person who lived all his life under his parent’s authority, he did not have the liberty to make his own
decision
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decisions
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even his major in the university, which made him experience depression and lower personal growth. In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I tend to believe that
people
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must have the free will to decide their lifeline.

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Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction, consider providing a brief overview of both perspectives before stating your opinion clearly. This can enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Make sure to check for spelling errors such as 'phycological' which should be 'psychological'. Small inaccuracies can affect overall impression.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your examples clearly support your points and are elaborated a bit more for better clarity and depth of argumentation.
Task Achievement
You have effectively presented both viewpoints on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples to support your arguments is commendable, as they provide context and strengthen your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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