Some people believe that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful members of society. Others think it should help people to achieve their personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The effectiveness of
education
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’s purpose is debatable. Like, some
people
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feel that the prompt motive of
education
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should be teaching
people
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moral values .
While
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,
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apply
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others believe that
people
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should study for their personal growth.
This
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essay will discuss both views and discuss how
people
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’s personal growth can benefit
to
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apply
show examples
society. The most appealing cause behind teaching moral values through
education
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is social peace .
For instance
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,
people
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would be aware
about
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of
show examples
laws which tend to
implement
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be implemented
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to keep them
in
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within
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boundaries. Like, they would fear
to hurt
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hurting
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each other , respect other’s religion, keep clean
to
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apply
show examples
public areas or private properties ,avoid doing crimes and serve themselves for
Correct article usage
the country
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country
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country's
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growth.
As a result
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, the rates of crimes will reduce, everyone respect government rules and. Contribute
bring
Wrong verb form
to bringing
show examples
peace to
everyone
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everyone's
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life. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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side , the main purpose of
education
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is
helping
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to help
show examples
people
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to choose
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
career for future settlements .
In contrast
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, moral values and good habits can be learned through family members and society .
while
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,
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apply
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being professional in
job
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a job
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can be done
by
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with
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
training and skills which can
be learn
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be learned
show examples
through
education
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. For Instance, mathematics, science and engineering we cannot learn from family because they are not
professional
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professionals
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in
such
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skills , so we have to go
school
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to school
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and university to
being
Verb problem
become
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master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters
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in
such
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curriculums. On the opposite side ,
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
politely, respecting elders and showing kindness to kids can only
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
through parents because they are responsible
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching
show examples
us these social skills .
To sum up
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, I feel we should focus on our
career
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careers
show examples
while
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studying in
schools
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school
show examples
. The most appealing cause is internal peace which we get when we grow up and achieve what we manifest in childhood.
As a result
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, we get
satisfied
Correct article usage
a satisfied
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life which helps us to avoid bad companies and habits . That eventually,
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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us to corporate to bring in our surroundings.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly articulate your main ideas in each paragraph and ensure that they are directly related to the topic. Use varied sentence structures for better clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction should clearly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. The conclusion should effectively summarize the key points made in the body.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid using informal language, such as 'Like' and 'On the opposite side'. Use more formal transitions and connectors to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an awareness of the importance of both perspectives on education and attempts to discuss them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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