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Writing Samples
Band 7

The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known. Despites this, a lot of people do not exrcise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise more often?

Nowadays, most individuals are educated about the benefits of exercising. Despite
this
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, most do not
exercise
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 regularly. There are various reasons for
this
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 behaviour, and certain measures can be employed to address the situation. Undeniably, procrastination is the most prominent reason contributing to
this
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 lethargic mindset;
nonetheless
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, exercising requires enthusiasm and energy.
However
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, most
people
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 are tired
due to
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 their stressful and long-lasting shifts at the workplace. These long-lasting shifts are time-consuming, and most
people
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 reach their homes at night, leaving them with no leisure time.
Moreover
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,
this
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 fatigue buildup at the workplace demotivates them
further
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, resulting in cravings for entertainment in the evening to enjoy and relax.
Furthermore
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, financial investment is a major deterrent, as
people
Use synonyms
 are unwilling to pay for
exercise
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 facilities. To illustrate
this
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 point
further
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, in India,
people
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 prefer to visit parks to
exercise
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instead
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 of paying for a gym membership, despite gyms having tailored machines to target specific areas. Indians still believe these are a waste of money. To mitigate
this
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 issue, several practical steps can be taken. First and foremost, employers should promote a healthier work-life balance by encouraging flexible working hours or incorporating short
exercise
Use synonyms
 breaks during the workday.
This
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 enhances productivity and
also
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 improves employees' mental and physical well-being.
In addition
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, public awareness campaigns highlighting the long-term benefits of regular physical activity may serve as motivation, especially if communicated through social media platforms where
people
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 spend considerable time.
Furthermore
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, local governments can play a vital role by improving infrastructure,
such
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 as building more public parks and installing free outdoor gym equipment to make
exercise
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 more accessible.
Lastly
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, schools and universities can
also
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 instil
exercise
Use synonyms
 habits from a young age by making physical education compulsory and engaging. In conclusion,
while
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 the advantages of exercising are impressive, numerous barriers
such
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 as fatigue, lack of time, and financial limitations continue to deter
people
Use synonyms
 from engaging in physical activity.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, promoting
exercise
Use synonyms
 through collective efforts by individuals, employers, and the government is crucial for fostering a healthier, more energetic society.

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coherence and cohesion
While your points are well-structured, working on varying your sentence structures could enhance the clarity and engagement of your ideas. Consider varying between complex and simpler sentences to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
Try to include a more diverse range of examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling by showcasing a variety of perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a clear argument and logically structured your essay, with distinct paragraphs addressing specific reasons and solutions.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic, presenting a variety of reasons why people may not exercise, as well as practical solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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