IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the chanages in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the chanages in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
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The given charts illustrate households with electrical appliances and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per household in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the charts show
general
Add an article
a general
show examples
 increase in
ownership
Use synonyms
 of electrical appliances and
this
Linking Words
 causes
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of housework
hours
Use synonyms
 per household.
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 became very common, but washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 had a slower growth. In the first graph, in 1920 only around 40% of households owned a washing
machine
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners were even less popular with around 30%
ownership
Use synonyms
.
Refrigerator
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 was almost zero. Between 1920 and 1960, the
ownership
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 sharply increased to 90% and
surpasses
Wrong verb form
surpassed
show examples
 the others. In 1960,
ownership
Use synonyms
 of
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 and washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
almost
Add a missing verb
was almost
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 with 70%
ownership
Use synonyms
. From 1960 to 1980 washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 the only device made
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 70% to around 62%. In 2019, all
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 owned
Use synonyms
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 and nearly 75% of them owned washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. The second graph shows that in 1920 people spent about 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week on housework.
This
Linking Words
 number fell steadily over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time. Between 1920 and 1960, there was a sharp decrease to around 20
hours
Use synonyms
. From 1980 till 2019 it continued to fall but at
slower
Add an article
a slower
show examples
 pace
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2019, it was only 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, ownership, refrigerator, vacuum, machine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • appliance ownership
  • technological advancements
  • housework
  • efficiency
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • societal roles
  • gender dynamics
  • automation
  • manual labor
  • domestic chores
  • leisure time
  • quality of life
  • smart technology
  • artificial intelligence
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