Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Show essays »

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In recent decades, shopping has
envolved
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evolved
from a necessity into a mainstream leisure pursuit.
While
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this
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflects
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changing lifestyles, it carries significant implications for communities.
This
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essay will explore the reasons behind
shooping's
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shopping's
shopping
popularity and its mixed consequences. The
prevenlance
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prevalence
provenance
of shopping as entertainment can be attributed to
technogical
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technological
and phycological factors.
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, consumerism encourages people to associate happiness and self-worth with material possessions, leading them to make purchases not based on needs but on emotional desires triggered by advertisements and social comparison. What is more, the proliferation of online shopping makes it easier for individuals access to diverse categories of products at any time, fueling its popularity as a leisure activity. Shopping offers both advantages and risks. Increased shopping activity can boost local economies and create employment opportunities, as retailers and services expand to meet consumer demand.
However
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, excessive shopping drives mass production and overconsumption, which contributes to resource depletion and environmental pollution through increased waste and carbon emissions.
Additionally
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, consumerism may weaken community bonds, as people prioritize material goods over social interactions—evident in declining visits to public parks compared to crowded malls. In conclusion, the growing popularity of shopping as a leisure activity stems primarily from its unmatched convenience and emotional appeal.
This
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trend has complex consequences for economies and the environment.

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Task Response
There are some minor inaccuracies in spelling (e.g., 'envolved' should be 'evolved', 'technogical' should be 'technological', 'phycological' should be 'psychological', 'shooping' should be 'shopping', and 'prevenlance' should be 'prevalence'). It's important to proofread your essay to correct these errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction sets the stage well, but try to make clearer connections between the reasons for shopping popularity and its consequences throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph starts with a topic sentence to guide the reader better.
Task Achievement
Examples could be more specific to strengthen your points. For instance, you mention 'increased shopping activity can boost local economies' but providing a specific example of a location that benefitted from increased consumerism would enhance this point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, addressing both the popularity and effects of shopping as a leisure activity.
Task Achievement
Your understanding of consumerism and its impact on behavior is well articulated, showcasing a thoughtful engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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