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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

36.Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, around the world, people can see the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements, and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying the fact that as time goes by the differences between countries are decreasing, especially in the
entertainment
Use synonyms
 and fashion industries.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the similarities between nations are a positive thing, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes
this
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 idea.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, watching the same TV shows or wearing the same clothes all over the
world
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 increases the interconnection between
people
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.
In other words
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, having things in common contributes to building relationships with a strong foundation.
In addition
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,
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
entertainment
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 may lead to many business opportunities between countries.
For example
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, Riyadh season
adapt
Change the verb form
adapts
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 the
world
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entertainment
Use synonyms
culture
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, which leads to many visitors from all over the
world
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 and a cooperation between them and the United States in
this
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 field.
On the other hand
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, keeping pace without consciousness
with
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of
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 trends that spread globally may cause
people
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 to lose their own
culture
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that individuals who chase the global trend will lose the sense of their own
culture
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.
Moreover
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, the spreading of these things had a huge impact on
people
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’s minds, which
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 them to reduce the usage of their native language.
For instance
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,
people
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 in Saudi Arabia,
influenced
Add a missing verb
are influenced
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 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Hollywood movies and the fashion in the US, many of them follow the trends there without any awareness, which causes them to lose their identity and struggle with their own language. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that it is a positive thing that
people
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 all around the
world
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 have the same
entertainment
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 or fashion trends, but it is very important to be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 them because some of them cannot match our values and principles.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on your ideas and providing more comprehensive arguments to strengthen your points.
coherence
Improve the transition between paragraphs for better flow. Using linking phrases will help guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
coherence
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines your opinion, setting a good foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as Riyadh season and the influence of Hollywood, to support your arguments, demonstrating good task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • cross-cultural exchange
  • interconnected global economy
  • multinational corporations
  • cultural dominance
  • economic disparities
  • cultural diversity
  • media proliferation
  • local identities
  • consumer culture
  • cultural erosion
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