IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other school subjects and therefore should be give more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, a debate
regrading
Correct your spelling
regarding
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
are
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 essential than other
aceademic
Correct your spelling
academic
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it should have more time in the course. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because I think
arts
Use synonyms
 should be
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 subject for students to choose more than required
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will
eraborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the views
show examples
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
following
Change the article
the following
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paragraph
Correct article usage
the paragraph
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, on
this
Linking Words
 day, a plethora of
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
pioritize
Correct your spelling
prioritize
arts
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the same as academics
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
. In fact,
arts
Use synonyms
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
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 for pupils when
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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facing
Wrong verb form
face
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accumulated stress
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academics subject
Fix the agreement mistake
academic subjects
show examples
;
In particular
Linking Words
, it
enhance
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enhances
show examples
 critical
thnking
Correct your spelling
thinking
 and creativity, skills essential for
problem
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
- sloving which
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 extend in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Even
arts
Use synonyms
 is have a variety of
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 but
academics
Fix the agreement mistake
academic
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 more important than because
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
 should know essential basic
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
such
Linking Words
 as math, language, science and social.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should balance the schedule or give freedom for
pupuils
Correct your spelling
pupils
 to manage the
subjects
Use synonyms
 with
arts
Use synonyms
 and
acedemic
Correct your spelling
academics
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if schools emphasize
arts
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 basic academic
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 students will have only critical and
cretivity
Correct your spelling
creativity
 but
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will
don't
Verb problem
not
show examples
 understand how to adapt their mindset
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
subjects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when students learn
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
 but

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language
Check your grammar and spelling to improve clarity and professionalism.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports your argument effectively.
content
Provide specific examples to illustrate your points more convincingly.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence
Your use of transitional phrases shows effort to enhance coherence between sentences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • cultural awareness
  • emotional well-being
  • social skills
  • globalized world
  • balanced curriculum
  • STEM skills
  • foundational
  • career paths
  • problem-solving
  • diverse backgrounds
  • mental health
  • economic trends
  • participation
  • creative outlet
What to do next:
Look at other essays: