IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Write about shopping. Would you prefer shopping in a store or shopping on the internet (online)? What are the benefits of your choice? What are the possible problems of your choice?

In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer
store
Use synonyms
 shopping more than online shopping there are some benefits for my opinion that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will
shere
Correct your spelling
share
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Linking Words
however
Capitalize word
However
show examples
 the
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of
store
Use synonyms
 shopping for me, first in
store
Use synonyms
 shopping i will see the
orginal
Correct your spelling
original
 materials and the color.
Secound
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can
tray
Correct your spelling
try
show examples
 it on
me
Correct pronoun usage
myself
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will see the fit
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 me.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 there are some problems in the
store
Use synonyms
 shopping.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 me
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have one problem
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
tims
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 the
pice
Correct your spelling
piece
show examples
 we need
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 sold out in the
store
Use synonyms
 or the size.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some people prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 many resin and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 prefer
store
Use synonyms
 shopping and for me both it's good.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure that your main points are directly supported throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically, perhaps by discussing the benefits first followed by the problems or vice versa.
Task Achievement
Expand on your points with more examples or explanations to give a clearer picture of your opinions and the reasons behind them.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of grammar and spelling mistakes, as they can distract from your overall message (e.g., 'i' should be 'I', 'shere' refers to 'share').
Task Achievement
You express a clear preference for store shopping and provide a couple of supporting reasons for your choice, which is a good attempt at task fulfillment.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Broader selection
  • Physical stores
  • Specialized goods
  • Compare prices
  • Online reviews
  • Exclusive discounts
  • Promotions
  • Risk of fraud
  • Scams
  • Shipping delays
  • Verify the legitimacy
  • In-person transactions
  • Inspect products
  • Purchasing decisions
  • Dissatisfaction
What to do next:
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