IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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It is true that the majority of individuals love to spend the most part of their life where they were born. Family connections, attachment to their roots and a sense of belonging are some quiet reasons for doing that. I think it is more advantageous as they can easily settle in their own countries and never face any
kind
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 of
culture
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 shock. One of the main reasons for living close to loved ones is feeling isolated when they live far away from their family members either for their studies or work purposes. In most
of
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apply
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the
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cases, we can see that more than 70% of students are choosing international countries for their
further
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 studies to make their better future but after some time, they
felt themselves
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feel
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 alone and isolated.
That is
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 why, people think it is better to stay in touch with their family members to maintain their strong relationships.
Moreover
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, traditional
culture
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 and customs have their own values for different people and they strictly follow it which they typically got from their ancestors.
Therefore
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, they choose these particular places and follow these customs by living over there.
Furthermore
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, some masses have an attachment to their land and they feel more uncomfortable and depressed
while
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 staying away from it. They create a sense of belonging, feelings and memories with that land where they spent their whole childhood. By considering all these facts, I think it is more beneficial to stay in a familiar place. First of all, individuals never get
kind
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 of
culture
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 shock
while
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 visiting any
kind
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 of unknown place and become more confident when they stay in their home country. Even, they need not to learn any specific
kind
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 of language or skill to settle in these nations.
Additionally
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, they not only save their time and money but
also
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 get a chance to become
an
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apply
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entrepreneur
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entrepreneurs
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 and open the doors for others in the employment field.
To sum up
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, spending a whole life living around their loved ones, assists them in maintaining family connections, connecting them towards their
culture
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 and creating a sense of attachment is useful as they do not need to acquire any course or not get
culture
Use synonyms
 shock treatment whilst settling in foreign nations.

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task achievement
Clarify your arguments by providing more specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your points and give the reader a better understanding of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas to enhance coherence. Consider using linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages of living close to one's birthplace to provide a more balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present relevant reasons for living close to where one was born.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
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