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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think that hosting an nternational sports event is good for the country. Other think that it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Sports
Use synonyms
 have attained a good level of popularity and
highly
Add a missing verb
are highly
show examples
 preferred as a source of entertainment all over the world. Various nations are willing to organise
sports
Use synonyms
 events.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
says
Change the verb form
say
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 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is beneficial for the
nation
Use synonyms
 to
host
Use synonyms
 an international
sports
Use synonyms
 event, as it could boost not only
tourism
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 of the
host
Use synonyms
nation
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the
people
Use synonyms
belives
Verb problem
believe
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,
rather
Correct word choice
that rather
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 than wasting
Use synonyms
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
, it should be utilised in
development
Add an article
the development
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 of medical and
Use synonyms
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
. I
satnd
Correct your spelling
stand
 with
thr
Correct your spelling
the
 former notion saying that it is crucial to
Use synonyms
host
Change the verb form
hosting
show examples
 an international
sports
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competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 for the betterment of the
nation
Use synonyms
. To start with, it is a fact that hosting
such
Linking Words
atheletic
Correct your spelling
athletic
 competition brings positive improvement in
Use synonyms
host
Correct article usage
the host
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nation
Use synonyms
's
tourism
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as well as
Linking Words
economy
Use synonyms
. Hosting international athletic
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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 not only invites national and international players but
also
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invite
Correct subject-verb agreement
invites
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huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
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 number of foreign
people
Use synonyms
 who can visit the tourist destination, enjoy the
sports
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 match,
explore
Correct word choice
and explore
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 the city, state or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Increase
Correct article usage
an Increase
show examples
 in
tourism
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 directly
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 the
nation
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's
economy
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.
For instance
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,
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
Sports
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 Department revealed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 India Earns 115 lakhs US
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 in a month, once every year, after spending 15 lakhs US
doller
Correct your spelling
dollars
 in hosting
Correct article usage
the Internation
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Internation
Correct your spelling
international
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 cricket match "Indian
premier league
Correct your spelling
Premier League
show examples
(IPL)".
This
Linking Words
 115 Lakhs US
doller
Correct your spelling
dollar
 includes money earned from the match tickets, money spent by international
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in different places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the expectation
an expectation
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expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who come from
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 argue to utilise
the nations
Change to a genitive case
the nation's economy
the economy of the nation
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economy
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
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betterment
Add an article
the betterment
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 of medical and
education
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
, rather than wasting it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
.
Event hough
Correct your spelling
Even though
show examples
, each and every citizen of the country
countributes
Correct your spelling
contributes
contributed
 to the
nation
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 in the form of various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of taxes from their earnings, still they have to pay a large amount of money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
facilities
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such
Linking Words
 as medicines, basic treatments,
blood
Correct word choice
and blood
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 reports.
Furthrmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
Education
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 demands
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees which most of the lower class
people
Use synonyms
 cannot afford. Ultimately, they need to quit their
education
Use synonyms
. To prove
this
Linking Words
, research conducted by an Indian Improvement Association(IIA), revealed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
, the costliness is
increrasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 every year in India mainly in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
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,
education
Use synonyms
 and agriculture
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
, which needs development
such
Linking Words
 as online lectures, exams and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
field
practical
Fix the agreement mistake
practicals
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 with advanced technology
machinary
Correct your spelling
machinery
, Increase doctor's salary and tract on the payment received by the
hiospital
Correct your spelling
hospital
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having several difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as poor medical and
education
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
, it is crucial to
Use synonyms
host
Change the verb form
hosting
show examples
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
International
sports
Use synonyms
 events which can boost
Use synonyms
host
Correct article usage
the host
show examples
nation
Use synonyms
's
economy
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Forthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
enhanced
Correct article usage
an enhanced
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 could be
ustilised
Correct your spelling
utilised
 in
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 of medical and
education
Use synonyms
 aspects.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve structure by clearly separating paragraphs for different viewpoints and enhancing the clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure sentences are grammatically correct by proofreading for any spelling errors.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument about the economic benefits and address the counterarguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
You provide a clear argument in favor of hosting international sports events and emphasize their economic benefits.
task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
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