IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As population continue to grow, places of natural beauty in cities and around are being used for construction of of new housing. Do the advantages overweigh the disadvantages?

There is an issue over the
city
Use synonyms
 that argues, that population growth effects negatively to true attractiveness of the
city
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 as demand for housing increases. As it contains some negative effects of it, in my point of view, the charm of urban cities will never disappear as a whole. On the one hand, year by year, population growth is increasing significantly as it has
disadvantages
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 to
nature
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 and
city
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 life. Since residents feel the necessity for new houses
,
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apply
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 and living
areas
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, it negatively to attractiveness of the
city
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 by cutting the trees and polluting the air. By
this
Linking Words
, I mean that it has an adverse effect on green zones, gardens, cropping
areas
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 and water zones. On top of it,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 accumulated
areas
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 by greenhouses will exchange their places with housing parts.
For example
Linking Words
, in the time which shows that the fact that says 100
people
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 fit per 1 m², crop fields should be minimized by authorities in order to make a place for living for residents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as
nature
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 gives opportunity to
people
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 for more living
areas
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, the necessities of mankind have adverse consequences for the beauty of
nature
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 and the
city
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it has
disadvantages
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 for the
city
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, albeit, there are opportunities to find advantages of it too. It should be noted that
,
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people
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 always try to find beauty in things from everywhere. Especially, when it comes to the living place, individuals try their best to make charm in their living place or near their homes. As the main part of beauty
is
Correct your spelling
in
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nature
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, some are into planting and green life.
For example
Linking Words
, when
people
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 buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new houses for themselves, they usually plant trees or at least buy seeds to grow plants
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their homes in order to keep their houses fresh air.
Thus
Linking Words
, as constructing new living
areas
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 has
disadvantages
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 to
nature
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 and the
city
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,
people
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 do good deeds for the environment to avoid air pollution. In conclusion, as building residential
areas
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 in green zones has
disadvantages
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 for the charm of the
city
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, there can be
found
Verb problem
apply
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positive effects either.

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task achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction and ensure it is explicitly stated. This helps the reader understand your position immediately.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure paragraphs contain a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of the paragraph and provides a smooth transition between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples, including statistics or research findings where possible, to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that grammar and vocabulary are precise, particularly when discussing complex ideas. This helps in clearer communication.
task achievement
You have shown an understanding of the complex relationship between population growth and urban beauty, which adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
Some ideas about individuals improving their living spaces are very thoughtful and indicate a positive perspective on urbanization.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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