IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

#people #work #hours #employers #employees #lives
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In The present times, most employers are demanding more
hours
 from employees causing them to feel more stress. we will discuss the possible reasons leading to
this
, and what kind of solutions we can implement. In my personal opinion, having to work longer
hours
 means having less time to relax, run errands and sometimes even less sleep,
also
 it can make the workers sacrifice
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 quality time spent with their loved ones and Family. All that alone can lead to increased pressure leading to Anxiety. a simple example of
that is
 some jobs require the employee to suddenly attend meetings past working
hours
 without prior notice and that can cause them inconvenience
such
 as finding someone to pick up their kids from daycare and
such
. I believe that
this
 issue can be easily solved by utilizing Artificial Intelligence and Technology to our advantage, Companies can provide access to free AI apps to their staff,
for instance
; AI can help in the recruitment process and replay to emails with simple quick instructions,
as well as
 creating and merging files from collected data, all that can save the employees time and energy that they can spend on more important matters. another solution to decrease stress is providing an on-site
psychiatric
Replace the word
psychiatrist
show examples
 to provide support for stressed staff and help them increase their mental capacity.
to sum up
, I think that stress is inevitable regardless of the number of
hours
, but we should work on strengthening Mental flexibility
as well as
 seeking help to manage our emotions.
Submitted by llaora on

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introduction conclusion present
Consider refining your introduction to provide a clearer overview of the essay's main arguments. This will set a solid foundation for your discussion.
supported main points
Expand on your examples and explanations. Providing more detailed and specific examples will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Maintain consistency in tone and style. Avoid informal phrases such as 'for instance' and strive for a more formal academic tone throughout your essay.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and develops it fully. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which contribute to a well-rounded discussion.
complete response
The response effectively addresses the task by discussing both reasons and solutions for the issue of longer working hours and stress.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses relevant examples to illustrate points, particularly in discussing the potential benefits of AI in the workplace.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout: A state of physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by prolonged stress.
  • Telecommuting: Working from a location outside of the traditional office environment, usually from home.
  • Work-life balance: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • Flexible working hours: A system that allows employees to choose their working hours within certain limits.
  • Occupational wellbeing: The overall mental, physical, and emotional health of an individual in relation to their job.
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