IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The two maps illustrate Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and its current condition.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are many changes in the
park
Use synonyms
, but the
entrance
Use synonyms
 is still in the exact location, on the north and south sides. In 1920, there was a fountain in the centre of the
park
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and a stage for musicians on the left
side
Use synonyms
 of the fountain. Five seats were available, two on the left
side
Use synonyms
, followed by
one
Use synonyms
 seat near each
entrance
Use synonyms
 gate, and on the right
side
Use synonyms
,
one
Use synonyms
 seat was available. There were
also
Linking Words
 three rose gardens, two on the upper
side
Use synonyms
 and
one
Use synonyms
 near the Eldon Street
entrance
Use synonyms
. Another facility was a pond for water plants, located on the northeast
side
Use synonyms
 of the garden. There is now a new
entrance
Use synonyms
 for visitors from the underground car
park
Use synonyms
. The musician's place has been changed into an amphitheatre. The seats are moved to the centre with the rose garden, even though
one
Use synonyms
 rose is on the northwest
side
Use synonyms
. The water feature is located on the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the
entrance
Use synonyms
. A cafe and a children's play area are available on the northeast
side
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words park, entrance, side, one with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: