Nowadays, some children spend many hours every day using smartphones and other devices. The advantages of allowing children to own these devices outweigh the disadvantages? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In fact, Some

tuddlers

Correct your spelling

toddlers

tiddlers

are

speinding

Correct your spelling

spending

a huge time using intelligent devices

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

per day and that has become

Correct article usage

an increasingly

show examples

increasingly

Change the word

increasing

show examples

phenomenon in today's world. I firmly believe the

one

Use synonyms

top reason is the family

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

it is the base of

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

, Their

Correct your spelling

and their

right to

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

live in

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

environment normal days without addiction

Change preposition

show examples

socail

Correct your spelling

social

media.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

veiws

Correct your spelling

the

pros and cons and illustrate my point of perspective. On

one

Use synonyms

hand, There

Change the verb form

are

show examples

several features

possibles

Fix the agreement mistake

possible

show examples

to help

children

Use synonyms

with using smartphones in

this

Linking Words

age,

One

Use synonyms

of them is expanding

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

knowldege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

fastly

Rephrase

quickly

show examples

with apply

Change preposition

by applying

show examples

useful

eaducational

Correct your spelling

educational

apps.

For example

Linking Words

, Learning new multiple

languges

Correct your spelling

languages

in the same period

due to

Linking Words

a young child's mind

receives

Wrong verb form

receiving

show examples

widely

Replace the word

wider

show examples

information

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than usual that

support

Correct subject-verb agreement

supports

show examples

the families in

teach

Change the verb form

teaching

show examples

him. Another positive aspect is gives the

kids

Use synonyms

high

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

and

build

Correct subject-verb agreement

builds

show examples

comunication

Correct your spelling

communication

skills.

This

Linking Words

can

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

lead the young

children

Use synonyms

to express

rightly

Correct pronoun usage

themselves rightly

show examples

addtion

Correct your spelling

addition

creativity

Change preposition

to creativity

show examples

on treat

Change preposition

in treating

show examples

people in future

also

Linking Words

handling

situostions

Correct your spelling

situations

perfectly.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, There are

also

Linking Words

argued

Replace the word

arguments

show examples

that

Change preposition

about

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

effects of

tuddlers

Correct your spelling

toddlers

tiddlers

using

samrtphones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

without parents

abserving

Correct your spelling

observing

serving

them

constently

Correct your spelling

constantly

One

Use synonyms

major drawback potential causes

Change the verb form

are

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

not

schdualing

Correct your spelling

scheduling

employ devices,

For instance

Linking Words

Leting

Correct your spelling

Letting

the babies

scrolling

Wrong verb form

scroll

show examples

on Tiktok all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

day and

following

Wrong verb form

show examples

the trends that make them nervous, Full angry,

moreover

Linking Words

can the parents and grandparents

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

control their

Use synonyms

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

uses

Correct subject-verb agreement

use

show examples

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

give them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protection

Change the punctuation

show examples

Unfortunately

Add a comma

Unfortunately,

show examples

that

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

them to chronic diseases

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age. The second reason is all the

children

Use synonyms

are neglecting every

things

Change to a singular noun

thing

show examples

around them like their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

, The community even their health.

As a consequence

Linking Words

that

threat

Wrong verb form

threatens

show examples

his physical and mental health.

To sum up

Linking Words

, Spending

kids

Use synonyms

a lot of time on

intellegent

Correct your spelling

intelligent

phones has benefits and drawbacks, I personally believe that when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

phones correctly,

Specially

Replace the word

Especially

show examples

if the family keep an eye on them.

nouffahad.gMon Apr 28 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language

Make sure to maintain consistent tense throughout your essay. In some places, you switch between present and past tense. For example, 'tuddlers are spending' should be 'toddlers spend.'

content

Ensure that ideas are fully developed. Some points were mentioned briefly but could benefit from further explanation or examples to strengthen your argument.

language

Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors (e.g., 'tuddlers,' 'intelligent,' 'spending'). A thorough proofreading can greatly enhance clarity.

content

Improve the clarity of your central argument in the introduction. State your position on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages clearly and concisely.

coherence

Use transition words to better connect your ideas and arguments, improving the flow of your essay.

content

You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for this type of question.

content

You provided specific examples related to educational apps and social skills, which help to illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
68
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

312 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
digital literacy
interactive learning
socialization
online etiquette
digital citizenship
creativity
educational technology
responsibility
cognitive development
information access
engagement
global communication
screen time
technological proficiency

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business ‎world.Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?‎
A transformative shift toward digital-based learning in businesses has recently occurred, especially in the post-COVID pandemic. While online job training poses certain challenges, this essay contends that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
6
band
In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In the present time,Parents pay other people to look after their children.Some people think that this is not a good thing to do.I agree with the people who think this is wrong.
7.5
band
Nowadays many people complain that they have dificulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
It is a common belief that a great number of individuals are complaining about not having enough hours of sleep causing diseases and lack of energy. However, there are some methods that can be done to resolve this issue by achieving a life balance and doing exercise.
6.5
band
Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Limiting non-essential aviation services is an effective method to reduce air contamination, instead of reducing the utilization of cars. However, I disagree with this notion. This essay will shed light on the reasons with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.
7.5
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accomodation officer at the college. In your letter * describe the situation *explain your problems and why it is difficult to work *say what kind of accomodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope you doing well,

Nowadays, some children spend many hours every day using smartphones and other devices. The advantages of allowing children to own these devices outweigh the disadvantages? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Online education and training is becoming increasingly popular in the business ‎world.Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?‎

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people complain that they have dificulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?