IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Ther
Correct your spelling
There
show examples
 is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 all large
companies
Use synonyms
 should provide
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and
community
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 to the local
community
Use synonyms
,in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that they should provide
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to the local
community
Use synonyms
 .
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
citys
Correct your spelling
cities
 need to provide
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sports and
community
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example,
du
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to lifestyle and
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 to improve it .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 can leave their
Correct your spelling
children
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 to play or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 can get the benefits
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
 Another point to consider. When the
compines
Correct your spelling
companies
 provide the sports and
community
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 it helps them
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their reputations, and be a part of the
community
Use synonyms
,
moreover
Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sales,
for instance
Linking Words
 , the
companies
Use synonyms
 when
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
such
Linking Words
facilities
Use synonyms
 to the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
 can but
thire
Correct your spelling
they
 name on the
facilities
Use synonyms
 that they
are build
Change the verb form
are building
show examples
 it to help them get more famous and to be known for other
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 which leaves a good impression To them.and the other thing if they have
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 attend to the place they can but fees on it which give profit to the
companies
Use synonyms
 if they want to . In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that providing
facilities
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
companies
Use synonyms
 benefits them in
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
a lot
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 ways some of that i
Correct your spelling
mention
meantion
Correct your spelling
mean
 and the other thing despite of
healping
Correct your spelling
helping
healing
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 life it can improve the surrounding area in the city and if the place
get
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
 famous the
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
people
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 will be more happy with.and there is
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of reasons for
companies
Use synonyms
 build sport and
community
Use synonyms
 place which not
occuer
Correct your spelling
occur
occurs
 to me right now

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language
Consider proofreading your essay to correct typographical errors, such as 'Ther' instead of 'There' and 'alot' which should be 'a lot'.
coherence
Try to improve the clarity and structure of your points by using clear topic sentences and logical transitions between paragraphs. For example, separate your ideas about community benefits and company benefits into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Instead of 'many cities,' mention a particular city or a specific company that has implemented such facilities successfully.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that large companies should provide sports and community facilities, which demonstrates a strong engagement with the task.
task achievement
You provided some reasoning for your argument, including the potential benefits for both the community and the companies, which showcases an understanding of different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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