IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Population in cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of it? What solution can you give to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas?

One of the main
problems
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 of rapid growth in a city’s population is finding a job. In many cities, job opportunities are not increasing as fast as the population is growing.
Thus
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, unemployment would be a major issue for
people
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 which can lead to many consequences including illegal activities
such
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 as theft. Other than that, environmental
problems
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 are another issue which should be considered. In overcrowded cities
due to
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 excessive waste production by
people
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 and plenty of vehicles the risk of environmental pollution is high. Other than that, because many individuals work in factories and other industrialized places in town the amount of contamination might become even higher. The air and water will be contaminated by substances released from using fossil fuels and municipal wastes. One of the most effective ways to overcome unemployment is by giving low-interest loans to low-income
people
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 to start businesses.
This
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 could increase job opportunities and boost the economy in the
short-term
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short term
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. In the long-term not only these small businesses’ profits will increase, but
people
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’s tendency towards illegal actions
of generating
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to generate
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 income will decrease. To deal with environmental
problems
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 the best option is encouraging
people
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 to use fewer cars and
also
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 recyclable items which are less dangerous to the environment. To add more, moving factories to suburban regions and filtering their
wastages
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wastage
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 could be another important way. In conclusion, the number of inhabitants in cities is on the rise.
This
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 is leading to many
problems
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 including fewer jobs and environmental
pollutions
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pollution
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. Giving loans to
people
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 to run their own businesses and encouraging them to consume less fuel are convenient options to decrease these
problems
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.

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task achievement
While your introduction outlines the main issues, it could be strengthened by including a clear thesis statement that previews your solutions in the last sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer transitions between your ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, phrases like 'in addition' or 'moreover' could better connect your points.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, including specific examples or data to support your claims about unemployment and environmental pollution would enhance the credibility of your writing.
task achievement
You have identified key issues related to urban population growth and effectively proposed relevant solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overcrowding
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Public services
  • Housing shortages
  • Living costs
  • Pollution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Job market saturation
  • Unemployment
  • Urbanization
  • Sustainable development
  • Green spaces
  • Public transport efficiency
  • Affordable housing
  • Waste management
  • Renewable energy
  • Quality of life
  • Economic opportunities
  • Healthcare accessibility
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