IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two maps show a park in 1920 and in present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
A glance at the figure given illustrates the comparison of Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and in present. Based on an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that the two entrances, which are Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street, are still in the same positions,
while
Linking Words
 there are some changes from the
centre
Use synonyms
 spots, stages, nature facilities, etc. Both of these figures show that the
centre
Use synonyms
 spot was a fountain in 1920, whilst in the present, the
centre
Use synonyms
 spot is a rose garden surrounded by many seats. In the past, there were three locations for rose gardens which were two spots in the north and one spot in the south.
However
Linking Words
, in the present, the rose garden is not only in the
centre
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 in the northwest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a stage for musicians in 1920 on the left side of the
park
Use synonyms
, but it transformed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the Amphit Theatre for concerts in 2025.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the glasshouse, which was located in the southeast of the
park
Use synonyms
, is changed to a water feature (pond).
This
Linking Words
 feature is near the entrance underground car
park
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a change from the pond for water plants, which was located in the northeast, to a cafe and a children's play area.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there were five seats in the past and located in every area of the
park
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 nowadays there are only four seats located in the
centre
Use synonyms
 of the
park
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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