IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Parents are putting a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no denying fact that the parents are putting
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their , in my opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it has
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 side at
Certain
Correct article usage
a Certain
show examples
 Point, i will discuss both positive and negative
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Body paragraph 1
to begin
Linking Words
 with,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 parents
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
preasure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 children
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 he or
she
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to be better than him or
her
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, or
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 high hopes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their children
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 on them
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
 of
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their child ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
thim
Correct your spelling
them
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 should study in
cearten
Correct your spelling
certain
 major to get
ceartn
Correct your spelling
certain
 job or
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
, or you should do something like some of your family which put you in compare mode ,
however
Linking Words
du
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to
thire
Correct your spelling
their
there
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 in the live they lived and the struggle they lived in maybe
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 see their
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 are lazy to do or to
deacide
Correct your spelling
decide
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
.
Body paragraph 2
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , the positive thing they
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
is
Change preposition
on is
show examples
 to
healp
Correct your spelling
help
 them to deal with daily life
struggle
Correct subject-verb agreement
struggles
show examples
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not easy
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 days
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our era,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they can help you to do
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 by
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 self or help you to be
stubbern
Correct your spelling
stubborn
 in
ceartn
Correct your spelling
certain
 things in life.
Conclusion
in conclusion , many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that there are
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 side to it some of the
rasons
Correct your spelling
reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
meantion
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mentioned
early
Rephrase
earlier
show examples
 and some of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
dont occure
Correct your spelling
do occur
 to me now , in my
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it has
Correct article usage
a neagtive
show examples
neagtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 side at
cearten
Correct article usage
a cearten
show examples
 age , when are adult
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they shouldnt put
pressure
Use synonyms
 on you because you have your own diecion to make.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction needs to clearly outline your main argument and the points you will discuss in the essay. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
When presenting examples, make sure they are clear and directly relate to your argument. Additionally, ensure correct spelling and grammar to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect.
Task Achievement
You include personal opinions and experiences, making the essay more engaging.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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