IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Museums and art galleries should primarily display artworks from their own country rather than international pieces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days it is argued that
,
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apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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museum exhibitions and
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 should be displayed from their own
countries
Use synonyms
,
instead
Linking Words
 of being introduced in international pieces. To some extent, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, but there are other aspects to take into account. On the one hand, museums which display
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 artworks
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to promote local artists.
In other words
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
,
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apply
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the best place for people who need to show native talents.
For example
Linking Words
, as everybody knows there are many
art
Use synonyms
 paintings or sculptures which
unrevealed
Add a missing verb
are unrevealed
show examples
 still nowadays and
along with
Linking Words
 that more talented artists still struggle to find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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.
Second
Add an article
The second
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 reason is that
,
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apply
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 it reduces
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate and helps
to
Change preposition
apply
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officials
to
Verb problem
apply
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create more
art
Use synonyms
 schools for young talented people. Given that, people in
this
Linking Words
 country might be educated and more informed about their arts. On the one hand, the international pieces may develop interaction between
countries
Use synonyms
 and boost their economy.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, exhibitions which were put in foreign
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 may attract visitors and help the local population to understand other cultures.
For example
Linking Words
, these days it is becoming increasingly common among developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to introduce new
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
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 in mixed huge
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it
services
Replace the word
serves
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 as a bridge for
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 connections and civilization. Another idea is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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such
Linking Words
 big
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 may fascinate investors which leads to improving
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
 condition of that country. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is extremely vital to support native artists,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
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I
Add a verb
I am
I was
show examples
personal
Change the word
personally
show examples
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international artworks help to explore different cultures.

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task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement clearly expresses your main argument. It can set a clearer direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main point. This will improve the structure and readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use appropriate linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, indicating good idea development.
coherence and cohesion
The concluding sentence summarizes your argument well and reinforces your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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