IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing each other. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the amount of time individuals spend seeing each other significantly reduces,
due to
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 the use of modern communication apps.
This
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 leads to some issues in their social lives.
This
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 essay will explain why I agree with
this
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 statement. In contemporary society,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 emerging social media,
such
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 as Instagram and Telegram, the way of
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
Add a missing verb
has compeletely
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compeletely channge
Correct your spelling
completely changed
. Now, people can easily communicate with each other without
hurdle
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hurdles
show examples
. They can send messages without
traveling
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travelling
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 long
distance
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distances
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.
As a result
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,
Correct article usage
the needs
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needs
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need
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 of
face
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
 communication
considerabley
Correct your spelling
considerably
considerable
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
.
This
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 leads to inactivity, which
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the main
reason
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reasons
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 for health issues in our modern lives.
Recentely
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Recently
, studies have shown that sedentary lifestyles can
rise
Verb problem
increase
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 the likelihood of body
postures
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posture
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 problems which
finally
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 can lead to chronic disease.  
Furthermore
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, excessive use of digital messenger apps,
such
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 as email, is one of the main causes of
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
. In some
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, text
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 transfer
writer's
Correct article usage
the writer's
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feeling
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feelings
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, which may lead to troubles,
espetially
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especially
 in sensitive
situation
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situations
show examples
such
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 as politics.
Thus
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, in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
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 governments prefer to communicate
Use synonyms
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
Use synonyms
 to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
possible
confusions
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confusion
show examples
.
For example
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, in recent
negotiation
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negotiations
show examples
 between Iran and USA, the governments travel a huge amount of miles to speak directly with each other. In conclusion, by using technology, many people can easily communicate.
This
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 trend leads to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in the amount of time people spend seeing each other. Some individuals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 believe that
this
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 behavior has a negative effect on their social lives. I firmly believe that lack of eye contact not only
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to inactivity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but can
also
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 cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
problmes
Correct your spelling
problems
such
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 as
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are well-organized and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Consider using clear topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will help to make your arguments more compelling and clear to the reader.
language accuracy
Check for spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message. For instance, 'compeletely' should be 'completely', and 'considerabley' should be 'considerably'.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the negotiation between Iran and the USA, which supports your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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