IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

Nowadays, some
people
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 pursue
a
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apply
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lighter
skin
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 by using cosmetic
products
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. The cosmetic market sees the
products
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 that make
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skin
Add an article
the skin
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 become lighter are profitable in many places.
First,
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the reason
people
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use
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this
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 product is because of the
beauty
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 trend of the societies.
For example
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, K-pop trends are popular all over the world, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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Korean stars look pretty with
a
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apply
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light
skin
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color
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colour
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, so
that
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apply
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fans will want to chase the outfits or makeup looks like the super idols,
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that
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which
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 is one of the reasons
people
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 who
use
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lighten
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light
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skin
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products
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.
Furthermore
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, those
people
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 who have lightened
skin
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 but explore under the sun, so that their
skin
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 becomes darker. These
people
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also
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use
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products
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 that make their
skin
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 recover to
the
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its
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 original
color
Change the spelling
colour
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.
On the other hand
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, the effect of using
such
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products
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 in society is that everyone will blindly pursue the standard
beauty
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of
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in
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 general. More and more individuals believe that
along with
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 the trend is
a
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apply
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fashion
instead
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 of reviewing themself as
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beauty
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beautiful
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 as nature.
Besides
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, the
products
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 are made by chemistry, which will be harmful for humans, and
also
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 a drawback for the environment.
For instance
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, if
people
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use
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 the
products
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 without cleaning
it
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them
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 clearly, that will cause water pollution.
Additionally
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,
the
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apply
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skin
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 cancer will be caused by the chemistry. In conclusion, like every coin has two sides, the product has both benefits and disadvantages.
As a result
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, it is important that we find a balance between
beauty
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 and
healthy
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health
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.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your main argument and the significance of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your points, especially relating to health effects and societal impacts.
task achievement
Your essay addresses a relevant and contemporary issue, demonstrating awareness of global beauty standards.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a clear conclusion that reflects on the complexity of the topic, showing critical thinking.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Skin lightening
  • Whitening products
  • Cultural standards
  • Beauty ideals
  • Media portrayal
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Colorism
  • Self-esteem
  • Toxic ingredients
  • Hydroquinone
  • Mercury
  • Melanin
  • Dermatological health
  • Consumer awareness
  • Regulatory bodies
  • Ethical marketing
  • Natural remedies
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