IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the modern world, it is possible to communicate with people via the Internet without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

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In today’s digital era,
communication
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technology
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such
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 as smartphones, video calls, and instant messaging has changed the way
people
Use synonyms
 interact.
While
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 virtual
communication
Use synonyms
 allows work, study, and meeting remotely, its negative impacts cannot be ignored. It can be seen as both a positive and negative development. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 prioritize online
communication
Use synonyms
 because it offers flexibility and convenience.
Due to
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 the advancement in
technology
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, individuals are able to stay connected with their family members and friends who live far away. Cutting-edge
technology
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 like video calls and voice messages makes it possible to communicate across the globe.
In addition
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,
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
show examples
 connection makes
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 to attend online classes and business meetings from any corner of the world.
For instance
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, during the Covid-19 pandemic, online study and work from home became possible
due to
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 digital
technology
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.
As a result
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, online
communication
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 has made our life more easy.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 innovation
also
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 leads to negative consequences like social isolation and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 interpersonal skills. When
people
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 use it constantly, it raises
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
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 of abandonment in relationships.
For example
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, youngsters prefer scrolling through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 rather than spending time with their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 and it creates emotional neglect among older individuals.
Moreover
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, addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 virtual meetings may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 physical and mental well-being.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 consider internet
communication
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 as a negative development.
To conclude
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,
while
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 online
communication
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 is convenient and cost-effective, it
also
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 reduces the importance of face-to-face meeting skills like
face
Replace the word
facial
show examples
 expressions and emotional attachments. A balanced approach
such
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 as judicious use of digital
technology
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 is essential to take more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 over drawbacks.

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What works well

2
coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each point, which aids in the overall clarity of your arguments.

task achievement

You effectively highlighted both the advantages and disadvantages of online communication, showcasing a balanced perspective on the topic.

Improvement Suggestions

3
task achievement

Consider providing a stronger thesis statement at the end of your introduction to clarify your stance on the topic more explicitly.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate on your examples to enhance their relevance and impact. This could help clarify how they support your main points more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your ideas and paragraphs. This will help ensure smoother transitions throughout your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Digital communication
  • Virtual meetings
  • Remote work
  • Real-time communication
  • International connectivity
  • Socio-economic divide
  • Miscommunication
  • Nonverbal cues
  • Emotional connection
  • Online presence
  • Global networking
  • Technological advancement
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Digital literacy
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