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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the modern world, it is possible to communicate with people via the Internet without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

In today’s digital era,
communication
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones, video calls, and instant messaging has changed the way
people
Use synonyms
 interact.
While
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 virtual
communication
Use synonyms
 allows work, study, and meeting remotely, its negative impacts cannot be ignored. It can be seen as both a positive and negative development. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 prioritize online
communication
Use synonyms
 because it offers flexibility and convenience.
Due to
Linking Words
 the advancement in
technology
Use synonyms
, individuals are able to stay connected with their family members and friends who live far away. Cutting-edge
technology
Use synonyms
 like video calls and voice messages makes it possible to communicate across the globe.
In addition
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,
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
show examples
 connection makes
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 to attend online classes and business meetings from any corner of the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, online study and work from home became possible
due to
Linking Words
 digital
technology
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, online
communication
Use synonyms
 has made our life more easy.
On the other hand
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,
this
Linking Words
 innovation
also
Linking Words
 leads to negative consequences like social isolation and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 interpersonal skills. When
people
Use synonyms
 use it constantly, it raises
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
show examples
 of abandonment in relationships.
For example
Linking Words
, youngsters prefer scrolling through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 rather than spending time with their family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 and it creates emotional neglect among older individuals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 virtual meetings may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 physical and mental well-being.
Therefore
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, some
people
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 consider internet
communication
Use synonyms
 as a negative development.
To conclude
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,
while
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 online
communication
Use synonyms
 is convenient and cost-effective, it
also
Linking Words
 reduces the importance of face-to-face meeting skills like
face
Replace the word
facial
show examples
 expressions and emotional attachments. A balanced approach
such
Linking Words
 as judicious use of digital
technology
Use synonyms
 is essential to take more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 over drawbacks.

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task achievement
Consider providing a stronger thesis statement at the end of your introduction to clarify your stance on the topic more explicitly.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your examples to enhance their relevance and impact. This could help clarify how they support your main points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your ideas and paragraphs. This will help ensure smoother transitions throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each point, which aids in the overall clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted both the advantages and disadvantages of online communication, showcasing a balanced perspective on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Digital communication
  • Virtual meetings
  • Remote work
  • Real-time communication
  • International connectivity
  • Socio-economic divide
  • Miscommunication
  • Nonverbal cues
  • Emotional connection
  • Online presence
  • Global networking
  • Technological advancement
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Digital literacy
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