IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You believe that your local library needs some improvements. Write a letter to the library manager to suggest changes.

Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. After careful consideration, I wanted to propose an idea that may improve your library. I believe that “Kitobsevarlar jamiyati” is one of the most visited places by our city members where they can find not only
books
Use synonyms
 and information that they are seeking, but there is an opportunity to make new friends as well who share the same interest and expectation with them.
However
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, I consider that there are some parts,
such
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 as the ventilation system, types of
books
Use synonyms
, and some facilities, like storage at the entrance need to be improved and provided. My initial proposition is to remove some old pieces of furniture, particularly the bookshelves in the archive part of the store, as they look deteriorated and are broken, which is highly probable because of the number of
books
Use synonyms
 stored in them.
As a result
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 of preserving a lot of literature on closed, slim shelves, where no airflow is available, some of the valuable manuscripts get moulded,
Linking Words
besides
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
emits
Correct subject-verb agreement
emit
show examples
 a bad smell.
Secondly
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, it would be safer and less problematic if a storage shelf at the entrance of the establishment is organized to keep visitors’ properties in
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the belongings of the people who come to the library are usually piled on the table at the corner of the reading hall.
Finally
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, our library lacks in the provision of children’s
books
Use synonyms
. Whenever a young mom wants to instil love in the heart of her child towards literature, she can hardly find age-appropriate materials. I appreciate your consideration of my suggestion and hope it will contribute positively. Yours faithfully, Shamsiya.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding specific examples or suggestions for types of books that would be beneficial for children to enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to vary the sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest and improve the flow of ideas throughout the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea. The paragraph on furniture improvements could more distinctly separate the issues of furniture and air circulation.
Tone
The letter maintains a polite and respectful tone throughout, which is appropriate for the context.
Content
Your suggestions are clear and relevant to improving the library, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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