Some people believe that the government should help the unemployed or just laid off from work on a weekly basis. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

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There are many individuals
claim
Correct pronoun usage
who claim
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that the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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must offer support to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobless
people
Use synonyms
in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, at the same time, even
empoyee
Correct your spelling
employee
was
Wrong verb form
is
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fired. In fact, I strongly agree that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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should give a hand to the unemployed for two determined consequences. First
off
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of
show examples
all, there are some increased and inevitable reasons for being unemployed in the fast-paced world.
Devoloping
Correct your spelling
Developing
cutting-edge technologies can replace
human's
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human
show examples
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
easiely
Correct your spelling
easily
and for that
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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the
government
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should make a decision to
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
legislation seriously before accepting
companies'
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companies
show examples
to switch technological replacement or recruitment of
people
Use synonyms
in
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
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different
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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.
For example
Linking Words
, using
Ai
Correct your spelling
AI
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programs is creating a danger to
face
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
job
Use synonyms
necessarity
Correct your spelling
necessities
. If
job
Use synonyms
replacement was thought
beforehand
Change preposition
of beforehand
show examples
, employees who lost their jobs can find a new suitable chance to find jobs
due to
Linking Words
the meaningfully created availability of
job
Use synonyms
vacancies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, many
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
that paying taxes will be helpful in their temporary difficult condition as expected in the coming future.
It is clear that
Linking Words
residents have
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
expectations to obtain benefits based on their
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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to the
government
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the regime of the state is able to spend capital for offering citizens to create their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and it can be supportive to generate
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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new
job
Use synonyms
opportunities. In
conclision
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is becoming increasingly difficult for society to find jobs.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
think that the
government
Use synonyms
should take action in order to help nonemployment. I am firmly convinced that helping nonemployment will bring positive effects
such
Linking Words
as helping
people
Use synonyms
to have better lives and increasing the economic rate growth of a country.

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What works well

2
content

You provide a clear opinion that the government should help the unemployed, which makes your stance evident throughout the essay.

content

You included relevant examples, such as the impact of AI on job opportunities, which adds depth to your argument.

Improvement Suggestions

4
language

Consider rephrasing 'the authority must offer support' to 'the government should provide support' for clarity and simplicity.

language

Make sure to proofread for spelling errors, such as 'empoyee' (should be 'employee') and 'easiely' (should be 'easily').

structure

Your introduction could be clearer. Instead of stating 'two determined consequences', specify that you will discuss two main reasons supporting your opinion.

content

In your second point, clarify how taxes directly relate to helping the unemployed. Providing more direct connection to your argument would strengthen your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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