Some people believe that the government should help the unemployed or just laid off from work on a weekly basis. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.
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What works well
2You provide a clear opinion that the government should help the unemployed, which makes your stance evident throughout the essay.
You included relevant examples, such as the impact of AI on job opportunities, which adds depth to your argument.
Improvement Suggestions
4Consider rephrasing 'the authority must offer support' to 'the government should provide support' for clarity and simplicity.
Make sure to proofread for spelling errors, such as 'empoyee' (should be 'employee') and 'easiely' (should be 'easily').
Your introduction could be clearer. Instead of stating 'two determined consequences', specify that you will discuss two main reasons supporting your opinion.
In your second point, clarify how taxes directly relate to helping the unemployed. Providing more direct connection to your argument would strengthen your point.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general