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Band 4.5

(SS)Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school,while others think these subjects be taught later.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Today,there is an ongoing discussion that
while
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 a large number of individuals think that
students
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 should start learning
new
Add an article
a new
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language
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 at an earlier time in
school
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, others believe it might be postponed to learn later.
Due to
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stronger
Correct article usage
a stronger
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 mind, it is useful for
students
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 to learn at
younger
Add an article
a younger
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 age,
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however
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however,
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 some educators prefer teaching other subjects than a
language
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.I will discuss both perspectives in the following
paragraps
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
 before presenting my own opinion. In favour of the first view,the main advantage of learning early is that
while
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students
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 are starting to study at
school
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 ,young learners are eager to learn new
languages
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,
therefore
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 educators might teach effortlessly them.
Additionally
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,knowing various
languages
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 gives
a
Correct pronoun usage
me a
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chance to travel or communicate without any difficulty with strangers
as well as
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 studying
master
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master's
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 degrees at top universities of the world
such
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 as Harvard.
Students
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 whose
the
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apply
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prime duty is learning a
language
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, elucidate that after graduating from
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
, they come across new responsibilities
such
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 as finding a job which might require knowing international
languages
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,and they do not have extra time to spend
for
Change preposition
on
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languages
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.For
insantance
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instance
,in Azerbaijan,recent statistics show that many
graduaters
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graduates
 are unemployed owing to not knowing English or Russian
languages
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.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 some
students
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 prioritize learning
languages
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 at
school
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,
due to
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 doing alternative
activites
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activities
,it is not critical for others.These individuals who consider it could be learned later, pay all attention to qualify in their professions
such
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 as IT,medicine or law.
Furthermore
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, they believe it is easier to translate any content in translator apps
such
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 as Goole Translate or
famous
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the famous
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 Chat GPT,
hence
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, they do not think to spend more time
for
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apply
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learning
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language
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the language
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.If
students
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 lack in own
qualificiation
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
, it will lead to struggling with finding
asuitable
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a suitable
 and high-income
job
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jobs
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 and not living the life they desire.
For instance
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, well-known physicist Albert Einstein started to learn
English
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the English
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language
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 after he qualified in
own
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his own
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 profession and created “Theory
or
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of
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Relavity
Correct your spelling
Relativity
”.
That is
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 to say,not knowing
alternative
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alternatives
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alongside
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to
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native
Correct article usage
the native
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language
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 does not
hinders
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hinder
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 to persist in
an
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apply
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academic life. In my opinion,
although
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 learning a
language
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 early in
school
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 is beneficial for young people to find immediately advantageous jobs or study abroad,it does not prevent
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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to proceed
Change preposition
from proceeding
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in
Change preposition
with
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 their
qualification
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qualifications
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. In conclusion,if people desire to study at famous universities or work in rich
compaigns
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campaigns
,they should
protize
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pursue
 learning a
language
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 in
school
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,
however
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 those whose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
main
porpose
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purpose
 is
qualifiying
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qualifying
, especially in academic life,
they
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apply
show examples
 might postpone it.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider reorganizing your essay structure for better clarity. Ensure each paragraph clearly presents only one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Make sure to use precise language and check for grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and word form. This will enhance the overall professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could include more statistics or studies to strengthen your claims about language learning and job opportunities.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is important for Task Achievement.
task achievement
You provided relevant points regarding the benefits of learning languages at a young age, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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