IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that there is too much advertising in our daily lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Advertising now is something that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 don't know how to use. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that there is too much advertising and that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them mad but some
people
Use synonyms
 think that advertising is something good because they buy everything but sometimes they don't get what they . When I use my phone, I see a
lot
Use synonyms
 of advertising, sometimes I take off my phone because it is too much spam for me.
Ads
Use synonyms
 are everywhere nowadays a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to steal and manipulate
people
Use synonyms
 who see
ads
Use synonyms
 all the time on social media.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
ads
Use synonyms
 have helped
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new businesses grow because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
know them. Anyway, I agree that there is too much advertising
although
Linking Words
 it helps some
people
Use synonyms
. I think there is too much
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days and that makes good advertising go on
scene
Add an article
the scene
show examples
 because
people
Use synonyms
 like me are already desperate. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
ads
Use synonyms
 can be a good thing but must be used correctly and without driving
people
Use synonyms
 crazy with so much spam.
This
Linking Words
 has been created as a problem because
people
Use synonyms
 have spent a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money on things that they think are good but after they realise that it is not what they wanted because in advertising
exist
Verb problem
there are
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of lies and some
people
Use synonyms
 don't know.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to clearly state your main argument in the introduction and develop it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on one main idea.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will make your points clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid informal language and ensure grammatical accuracy to improve readability.
task achievement
You’ve shown awareness of the dual nature of advertising, discussing both positive and negative aspects.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your views on advertising, demonstrating a clear end to your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: