IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every one of us should became vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays every human
being's
Correct your spelling
being is
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
trying to be healthier to avoid health
problems
Use synonyms
. In upcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
show examples
 I will discuss what are the benefits and drawbacks of being vegetarian and
also
Linking Words
 for
non- vegetarian
Correct your spelling
non-vegetarian
show examples
 persons even though how they indulge in different health issues by being so Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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who are eating only veggies ,fruits
Correct your spelling
and
anf
Correct your spelling
and
 all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of nuts like almonds,
walnuts
Correct word choice
and walnuts
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 the modern trend of nuts are pumpkin seeds,
flex
Correct your spelling
flax
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 seeds and many more,
however
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
Use synonyms
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 that they are following clean eating concepts of ancient times, even though some peoples in villages follow the rule of not eating anything after the sunset and in some point they are following a great way of healthy eating habits which gives time to our stomach for digest food till the next morning .unfortunately after following all good habits they can meet the
problems
Use synonyms
 by lack of vitamins,iron deficiency,not enough protein in our body ,
as well as
Linking Words
 week bones
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 those
people
Use synonyms
 who are meat lovers and can eat all types of meat
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel heaven in the whole world by eating
such
Linking Words
 kind of foods and they never prefer
Add a hyphen
plant-based
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plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
 foods as an option .
besides
Linking Words
 that
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 love to drink some alcohol with the companion of chicken and some fried foods.so basically they are inviting all serious diseases to their body like high cholesterol,fatty liver,heart
problems
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,artery veins block along that they don't have
deficiency
Add an article
a deficiency
show examples
 of vitamin and protein
Linking Words
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 there are so many pros and
cones
Correct your spelling
cons
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 for both vegetarian and
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 whole world .Each and every person should plan their meal Carefully
according to
Linking Words
 their needs and requirements
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
body they can plan
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
 diet for the whole day which
divides
Wrong verb form
is divided
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in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 four parts
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are protein,carbohydrates,fats and
fibres
Fix the agreement mistake
fibre
show examples
 To summarise,I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
to make
Change preposition
with making
show examples
 everyone vegetarian to avoid serious health
problems
Use synonyms
 by eating
meats
Fix the agreement mistake
meat
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 save
planet
Add an article
the planet
show examples
 by
letting
Verb problem
keeping
show examples
 mammals alive
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position, and consider rephrasing the thesis statement for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea with supporting details.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning specific health problems related to meat consumption or citing studies on vegetarian diets.
task achievement
You have a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear effort to introduce the topic and provide an overview of the points to be discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
What to do next:
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