IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Studies have shown that in many countries the income gap be tween the rich and poor is ever increasing. What problems can arise from this situation and what could be done to address this situation?

In
this
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 century, human beings are in
race
Correct article usage
a race
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 to earn more money than others. Some studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that the difference between
income
Add an article
the income
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 of rich and poor folks in many countries is rapidly increasing.
This
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 essay will examine the problems caused by
this
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 trend and some
measurements
Replace the word
measures
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 to tackle.
To begin
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 with, there are several problems behind
this
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 issue. The first and foremost is
Correct article usage
the affect
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affect
Correct your spelling
effect
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in
Change preposition
on
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world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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 economy. To elaborate,
low poverty
Add a hyphen
low-poverty
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people
Use synonyms
 are not getting
opportunities
Use synonyms
 in every sector of society. In terms of education, work and hospitals there are very few
opportunities
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 for
lower class
Add a hyphen
lower-class
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 families.
Whereas
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, wealthy
people
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 are getting all the benefits from
government
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the government
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 and private sector.
For example
Linking Words
, poor
people
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 are unable to
fulfill
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fulfil
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there
Correct your spelling
their
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 daily basic needs.
Whereas
Linking Words
, rich
people
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 are spending more money to get luxury items.
This
Linking Words
 is a negative development for the world's economy.
Moreover
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, poor
people
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 are becoming more poor and wealthy
people
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 are becoming more wealthier.
However
Linking Words
, some measurements can be taken to determine
this
Linking Words
 issue. The one from them is creating more
opportunities
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 who are
under
Change preposition
in
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 poverty.
This
Linking Words
 is a very good option to give
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to poor
people
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 for fulfilling their demands.
For example
Linking Words
, in schools, hospitals and jobs authorities should give priority to
lower class
Add a hyphen
lower-class
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 can help
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 to reduce the gap between income.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, awareness can be created through advertisements to promote
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation so that
this
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 trend will be not seen in future. In conclusion, salary differences between poor and wealthy families
is
Change the verb form
are
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 causing problems for
Correct article usage
the countrie's
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countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
 growth.
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Whereas creating
Correct word choice
Creating
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 more job
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for needy folks can help
to
Verb problem
apply
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tackle
this
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 issue.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity and specificity of your main points, particularly regarding the economic effects of income inequality. Make sure to clearly connect each point to your thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the flow of your essay by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will help guide the reader through your ideas more effectively.
grammatical accuracy
Consider restructuring some sentences for better grammatical accuracy and fluidity. For example, 'affect in world's economy' could be revised to 'effect on the world's economy'.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the problems and solutions related to income inequality, which is essential for a balanced response.
task achievement
The intention and direction of the essay are clear, as is the concern for social issues, which adds depth to the discussion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income gap
  • social discord
  • disparity
  • entrenching
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute
  • public services
  • economic growth
  • disposable income
  • minimum living wage
  • standard of living
  • unemployment
  • lower-skilled workers
What to do next:
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