Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opin

Nowadays, It is

undeniable

Add an article

an undeniable

the undeniable

show examples

fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some

sports

Use synonyms

professionals have a very good package as

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to other fields.

While

Linking Words

a handful of citizens believe that it is totally understandable, because they

work

Use synonyms

hard, others think that it is unfair. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views, and

as per

Change preposition

show examples

my opinion, I am in favour of

former

Add an article

the former

show examples

statement.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many reasons to support the high earning

sportsmans

Correct your spelling

sportsmen

show examples

. The predominant one is hard

work

Use synonyms

towards their field. To elaborate, achieving heights in

sports

Use synonyms

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

a lot of hard

work

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as daily workout sessions, practice, planning and plotting etc.

In addition

Linking Words

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

show examples

often travel for various tournaments from one place to another, away from family members and friends.

Also

Linking Words

, they

are need

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to maintain discipline towards their sleeping habits and healthy diet, which is very difficult.

For example

Linking Words

, In a survey conducted by

Times

Correct article usage

the Times

show examples

of Hindustan, It was found

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, that 80% of

sportsperson

Fix the agreement mistake

sportspersons

show examples

eat boiled food in their daily life.

Thus

Linking Words

, If a skilled sportsperson

earning

Wrong verb form

earns

show examples

more money as

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to others, they

deserved

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

that.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Many people believe that other professions should provide great packages as well. There are many other job professions

such

Linking Words

teahers

Correct your spelling

teachers

, healthcare workers, public transporters etc. These sectors were often

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

ignored by public officials to provide more funds.

For instance

Linking Words

, In a survey taken by Canadian Times 70% of

teachers

Change noun form

teachers'

teacher's

show examples

money is equal to 10% of

sports

Use synonyms

people.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is proved that

Use synonyms

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

field is earning more as

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to other professions.

To conclude

Linking Words

, It is truly justified that

, Income

Correct your spelling

the income

sports

Use synonyms

professionals is far more than other people working in different jobs, But considering the efforts and hard

work

Use synonyms

, they sacrifice a lot of things as well for their task, so they

are deserving

Wrong verb form

deserve

show examples

to get more money.

rs6055880Wed Apr 30 2025

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task achievement

While you've covered both views effectively, aim to elaborate more on the arguments. Include specific examples or case studies to strengthen your points.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences could be clearer if restructured. For instance, avoid unnecessary complexity and ensure each sentence directly contributes to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Remember to check for grammatical accuracy, especially with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, to improve clarity and professionalism in your writing.

task achievement

You have clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a strong essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, separating views into distinct paragraphs which helps with overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

307 words

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opin

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. However, others believe skills and experience are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

A great amount of waste is becoming a social concern.What can individuals and the government do to reduce waste?Suggest possible solutions.

Some countries have recently passed laws limiting the daily working hours of employees. Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact.

Animal testing has always been controversial issue. Some people believe that governments should ban these practices completely. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?