Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Studies display that some habits and

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

are beneficial for health ,

while

Linking Words

others are damaging . There are many

people

Use synonyms

that contribute

Change preposition

show examples

variant unhealthy actions .

This

Linking Words

can be caused by many issues and many terms must be applied .

To begin

Linking Words

with , a large amount of the population

practice

Correct subject-verb agreement

practices

show examples

many different kinds of unhealthy traditions.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many of them are because of

addictions

Use synonyms

. Addiction can be considered the primary reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

Use synonyms

excessive

Change the word

excessively

show examples

engaging in varied unhealthy contributions .

In addition

Linking Words

There

Fix capitalization

there

show examples

are many kinds of

addictions

Use synonyms

that our

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

suffer from .

For example

Linking Words

, smoking which is the most common type of addiction

people

Use synonyms

have

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of difficulties facing .

Also

Linking Words

, the excessive use of

alchohol

Correct your spelling

alcohol

and mobile phones .

Furthermore

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research carried out

Change preposition

show examples

Harvard University illustrates that 47% of the world's population

suffer

Correct subject-verb agreement

suffers

show examples

from these types of

addictions

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, solutions can be done by the

people

Use synonyms

themselves by creating strict rules and terms .

Furthermore

Linking Words

, institutions and organizations must focus on

socities

Correct your spelling

societies

suffering from these

addictions

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can be

applicated

Verb problem

applied

show examples

by creating centers or hubs , which in turn assist the population and guide them to achieve their goal .

For instance

Linking Words

, a

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

in Japan was created to help

addicited

Correct your spelling

addicted

people

Use synonyms

to prevent smoking . After a long course , a large group of them stopped

this

Linking Words

addiction . In conclusion , many

people

Use synonyms

are facing these

addictions

Use synonyms

and

unhea;thy

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

activities . Governments and organizations must assist

people

Use synonyms

and enhance their abilities to demolish these challenges .

hussinmahmoud4456Wed Apr 30 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Enhance the clarity of main ideas by explicitly stating them in topic sentences for each paragraph.

task achievement

Ensure correct spelling and Grammar. For example, "activities" and "unhealthy" need to be spelt correctly.

task achievement

Include counter-arguments or more views to strengthen the discussion on the causes and potential solutions.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic by discussing both causes of unhealthy activities and potential solutions.

task achievement

Relevant examples from studies, like the statistic from Harvard University, are effectively used to support claims.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some students do very well at school and never have problems while others fall behind. Are they capable of handling this challenge themselves or should teachers and parents help them? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a postive part of lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.