IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that libraries are essential for society. Others, however, disagree and say that it is more practical to access information on computers, while libraries are a waste of money and resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, It is an undeniable fact that
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
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library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
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 has always been a debatable issue in a community. Some
people
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 believe that
libraries
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 are
must
Correct article usage
a must
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 for a society to grow,
whereas
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 others think that
technology
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 can replace
this
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 issue. In
this
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 essay, I will talk about both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views, and going to favour the former statement.
To begin
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 with, Many
people
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knows
Change the verb form
know
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 the value of
libraries
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, and they are certain to develop that in their region. There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 causes why
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library
Add an article
the library
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 needs to be provided in every locality, the predominant one is
vast
Add an article
a vast
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 knowledge. To elaborate, with the help of
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
a library
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,
people
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 can enhance their knowledge by reading all kinds of books, provided with all types of languages.
This
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 approach will help
the
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apply
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individuals to explore the history of mankind
as well as
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 other subjects.
In addition
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, It will be helpful for the denizens who want
work
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to work
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 in the pin-drop silence.
For example
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, In a survey conducted by the Hindustan Times, 70% of the
people
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 in the world are interested
to study
Change preposition
in studying
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 in
libraries
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 rather than studying from home.
Thus
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,
libraries
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 are essential for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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 the fast growth of
the
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apply
show examples
technology
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 day-by-day, some masses believe that it is unnecessary to develop a
library
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 in
a
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apply
show examples
society. To explain, they think that it will be a waste of expenses by the government officials, because, In today's era, everybody knows how to get a different variety of
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 through
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
For instance
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, In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 recent article published by the Canadian Times, it is mentioned that almost 90% of the information provided by
libraries
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 is available on
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Hence
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, it is proved that
technology
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 can replace
libraries
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.
To conclude
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, it is completely true that computers have a wide knowledge and almost all the information can be learned from that, but
libraries
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 are an asset, which helps every kind of
people
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, even
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the ones who can't reach to afford online
technology
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.

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coherence
Make sure to develop a clearer structure in your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support it with more detailed explanations.
task achievement
In your introduction, rephrase the question more clearly and make sure to state your opinion explicitly. This will set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples that directly relate to your arguments to strengthen your points. This could be personal experiences or real-world examples that support your views.
content
You present both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
content
You provided relevant statistics to back up your claims, which helps make your arguments more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • quiet space
  • study and research
  • community learning and engagement
  • physical books
  • rare manuscripts
  • digital resources
  • internet access
  • free access
  • community events
  • workshops
  • educational programs
  • hubs of societal engagement
  • digital information
  • accessible
  • convenient
  • physical space
  • resources
  • maintenance
  • costs
  • redirected
  • digital infrastructure
  • e-books
  • online journals
  • diminishing
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