IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view? (frequently repeated topic)

It is true that authorities spend make
lot
Use synonyms
 of budget
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wastage
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 in those areas where
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
 will
need
Wrong verb form
be needed
show examples
. I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
 with the given statement which will
discussed
Change the verb form
be discussed
discuss
show examples
 below.
Frst
Correct your spelling
First
 and foremost,
art
Use synonyms
 is the main source to
represnt
Correct your spelling
represent
 our culture among other countries. foriegenrs will attract more when our
art
Use synonyms
 is
represnet
Correct your spelling
represented
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effective way.
Linking Words
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 a result, it increases the
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 exchange in our
country
Use synonyms
 which is very important for the growth
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will only happen when
government
Use synonyms
 spend
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
.
secondly
Linking Words
, it creates
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
oppurunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 among
people
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 have some
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
 in
art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as music.
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
 they get
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 support from
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 it is very
helpgul
Correct your spelling
helpful
 for them.
As a result
Linking Words
, it makes a good source of income and they will
fulifill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the basic
neccesties
Correct your spelling
necessities
.  On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
people
Use synonyms
 think that
money
Use synonyms
 should
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 in
another aspects
Replace the adjective
another aspect
other aspects
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 because there are
Use synonyms
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
areas
Change preposition
of areas
show examples
when
Correct word choice
where
show examples
developlment
Correct your spelling
development
 is
requried
Correct your spelling
required
such
Linking Words
 as infrastructure, roads,
poverty
Correct word choice
and poverty
show examples
. if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spend more
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these problems
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will live their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
happy
Change the word
happily
show examples
.
secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 pay more attention
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
 system of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
people
Use synonyms
 do not get proper treatment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
 and they
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
 from
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of problems. if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spend more
money
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it helps to maintain the health of
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, during
covid
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
,
people
Use synonyms
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not get
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
treatment
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an inproper
show examples
inproper
Correct your spelling
improper
 heatcare system and
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 lost their lives. in
consclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, we conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are many
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 sectors where
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spend more
money
Use synonyms
 for the betterment of nations
such
Linking Words
 as poverty,
healthcare
Correct word choice
and healthcare
show examples
. on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
Linking Words
 creates
Use synonyms
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 of
oppurunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as jobs,
Correct word choice
and foriegn
show examples
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
money
Use synonyms
 which are
also
Linking Words
reconised
Correct your spelling
recognised
.
therefore
Linking Words
, both have equal advantages and disadvantages.

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Language
Try to improve spelling and grammar, such as changing 'wastage' to 'waste' and correcting 'foriegenrs' to 'foreigners'.
Content
Ensure that your ideas are supported with clearer examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing foreign exchange, explain how it impacts the economy.
Coherence
Improve the overall structure by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader better.
Content
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, indicating a balanced approach.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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