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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss bot these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In modern life, some people agree with the concept of mixed
schools
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. Others,
however
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, think it is better to educate
both
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boys
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 and girls in separate
schools
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. In my opinion, students'
skills
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 can be developed better in separate
schools
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 because
both
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 genders will be able to learn their own distinctions , and teachers can treat each gender separately in an appropriate way.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, educating
males
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 and
females
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 in mixed
schools
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 can provide a collaborative environment that includes girls and
boys
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 in the same field.
As a result
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,
this
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 helps each of them to recognise the opposite sex.
For example
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, mixed classes include
both
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 sexes with cooperative learning method can help students of
both
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 genders to recognise each other
due to
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 the direct interaction and learning approach.
Moreover
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, the concept of dual-gender educational institution can lead
both
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males
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 and
females
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 to communicate and interacte between each other in the future,
such
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 as in the workplace or public places.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, separating
boys
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 and girls in a private school allows them to develop their distinct abilities.
This
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 is because the teachers can guide and teach each gender separately, so they can dedicate full concentration to a certain gender in order to develop their specific
skills
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.
For instance
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,
males
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 are known for their physical ability, so administrators can teach
boys
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 how to play football or tennis
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the same can be observed in
females
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' artistic sense of drawing.
Conclusion
In conclusion, mixed educational institutions have the ability to develop social
skills
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 in
males
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 and
females
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.
However
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,
skills
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 can be developed better in single-sex
schools
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 because there is a full focus environment with specialised teachers.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To improve, explain more fully why separate schools help all students, not only why teachers can teach boys and girls in different ways.
task response
Be careful with ideas about what boys and girls are good at. Saying boys are for sport and girls are for art is too simple and may not be true for many students. Use wider ideas, such as less stress, more class talk, or teaching that fits each student.
task response
Your examples are linked to the topic, but they need more detail. Explain what happens in a class and how this helps learning or later life.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one paragraph for each view, and a closing. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first line of each main paragraph state the main idea more clearly. Then add one reason, one example, and one short result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. For example, write: “For example, mixed classes where boys and girls work together can help them understand each other better.” This is clearer than the long sentence in the first main paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some words are not used well, such as “interacte”, “dual-gender educational institution”, and “private school”. Use simple, clear words like “interact”, “mixed school”, and “single-sex school”.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain mixed schools, separate schools, and your own view.
task response
Your main view stays the same from the opening to the closing.
coherence and cohesion
The two main paragraphs are well separated, with one view in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing both clearly show the main topic and your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender segregation
  • academic performance
  • distractions
  • peer pressure
  • social norms
  • gender roles
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • mutual respect
  • stereotypes
  • gender biases
  • egalitarian
  • real-world interactions
  • social skills
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