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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss bot these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In modern life, some people agree with the concept of mixed
schools
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. Others,
however
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, think it is better to educate
both
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boys
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 and
girls
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 in separate
schools
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. In my opinion, separating
males
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 and
females
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 can allow them to develop their distinct abilities effectively.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, educating
boys
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 and
girls
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 in mixed
schools
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 can provide a collaborative environment include
girls
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 and
boys
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 in the same field.
This
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 helps each of them to recognise the opposite gender.
For example
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, mixed classes include
both
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 sex with cooperative learning method can help students of
both
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 genders to recognise each other
due to
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 the direct interaction and learning approach.
Moreover
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, the concept of dual-gender educational institution can lead
both
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males
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 and
females
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 to communicate and interacte between each other in the future,
such
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 as in the workplace or public places.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, separating
boys
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 and
girls
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 in a private school allows them to develop their distinct abilities.
This
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 is because the teachers can guide and teach each gender separately, so they can dedicate full concentration to a certain gender in order to develop their specific skills.
For instance
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,
males
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 are known for their physical ability, so administrators can teach
boys
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 how to play football or tennis
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the same can be observed in
females
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' artistic sense of drawing.
Conclusion
In conclusion, mixed educational institutions have the ability to develop social skills in
males
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 and
females
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.
However
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, skills can be developed better in single-gender
schools
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 in a proper way because there is a full focus environment.

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Task response
Discuss both sides in the same depth. The mixed-school side is clear, but the separate-school side is based on a wide claim about boys and girls. Explain why this would be true, or use a more careful point, such as fewer social pressures or teaching plans made for one group.
Task response
Give your own view more clearly in the main body. Say why you think separate schools are better overall, then add a fair limit: mixed schools may still help students learn how to work with each other.
Task response
Make examples more real and clear. The football, tennis, drawing, and art example does not fully prove that separate schools are better. Show how a school plan, class rule, or teacher action leads to a clear result.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. To make the links stronger, begin each body part with a direct main idea and make every next sentence support that idea.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear joining words with care. Phrases such as “For example”, “Moreover”, and “This is because” are helpful, but some sentences are very long. Split long sentences into two short ones so the meaning is easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same. Choose “mixed schools” and “single-sex schools” and use them through the essay. This will make the writing feel more connected and less hard to read.
Task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own view.
Task response
Your main ideas are on topic. Mixed schools are linked to social contact, while separate schools are linked to focused teaching.
Coherence and cohesion
The four-part shape is easy to follow, with a clear opening and a clear ending.
Coherence and cohesion
You use paragraph starters such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” well to show the change from one view to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender segregation
  • academic performance
  • distractions
  • peer pressure
  • social norms
  • gender roles
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
  • mutual respect
  • stereotypes
  • gender biases
  • egalitarian
  • real-world interactions
  • social skills
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