IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Several individuals believe that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Currently, people could work on the site or remotely
due to
Linking Words
 a pandemic years ago. So,
for
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this
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 reason, the individuals had the opportunity to change their jobs searching for new benefits. In
this
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 case, many people make the decision to move a another job with new goals, opportunities, and experiences without caring how long time stay in the actual job.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
this
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 new era, all people have the chance without being fair to satisfy their career changing frequently the job.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to create a clearer structure for your essay. Start with an introduction that outlines your main argument, followed by body paragraphs that support your points in a logical order. Finally, conclude by summarizing your thoughts clearly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points about job stability versus frequent job changes. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to review your sentences for clarity and grammar. Some phrases could be reworded or simplified to convey your ideas more effectively, such as 'moving a another job' which should be 'moving to another job'.
task achievement
You have attempted to address a relevant contemporary issue related to job security and flexibility. This is a significant topic and shows you are engaging with current trends in employment.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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