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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the Japanese population by different age groups from 1970 to 2040.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the Japanese population by different age groups from 1970 to 2040.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table shows how the Japanese
population
Use synonyms
 has been changing from 1970 to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2040 projection. We can see that there are
notably
Change the adverb
notable
show examples
 changes in all the
age
Use synonyms
 groups. Even
tough
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 the people between 25-64 have not
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 greatly, without a doubt we can see that the other two
age
Use synonyms
 groups have been changing unquestionably in the
last
Linking Words
 40 years projected in the table. From 1960 to 2000, nearly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
30% of the people from Japan were part of the
age
Use synonyms
 group of 0-14, around 65%
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 were part of the 25-65 segment, and just
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5% were older
thant
Correct your spelling
than
 that. From 2000 to 2040, in stark
Correct your spelling
contrast
constrast
Add a comma
constrast,
show examples
 we can see that the projections lead to enormous changes in the 65+
age
Use synonyms
 group. By the year 2040, the older group
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 going to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
35% of the Japanese
population
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the year 1960,
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sample
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 just
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
5%.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 is getting older.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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