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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1965, 1985 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1965, 1985 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The information
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
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 the proportion of four kinds of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 used in the UK in 1965, 1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, as we can observe, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
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 no major changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car sales over the years. Private
cars
Use synonyms
 have been the
mainly
Change the adverb
main
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 preference in the United Kingdom in
constrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
 to recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 are the
less
Rephrase
least
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 used transportation
metod
Correct your spelling
method
. First of all, in the year 1965, nearly half of the
cars
Use synonyms
 used
in
Change preposition
on
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 the Island were private
cars
Use synonyms
, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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40% of the proportion. Commercial and public transportation were even with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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20% and 25% of the total, respectively. And recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were the least
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 kind. Second of all, by 1985 the commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 stayed in the same 20% as the previous year. The biggest downfall is in the recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
, with a dismiss of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10% of their usage. And the private automobiles had an upgrade of 15%,
hence
Linking Words
 the total stayed at 55%. Third of all, and
finally
Linking Words
, in 2005 we can observe that there has been a
slightly
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slight
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 improvement in the use of public transport and private
cars
Use synonyms
. In stark contrast, the lorries and other commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been cut by half.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words vehicles, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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