IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
The bar chart compares the average weekly
expenditurs
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 by families in one
teritory
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territory
 between two years with a difference of 10 years,
namly
Correct your spelling
namely
 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 devoted to food was the highest in 1968,
wherease
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whereas
, in 2018 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of money
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing was the greatest.
However
Linking Words
, fuel and power took the
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 in both years. In 1968, the vast majority of
income
Use synonyms
 was
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, that accounted for 35%. The housing, clothing and
footware
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footwear
 placed in second
place
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 and made up 10%, respectively. The
percentage
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 of expenses
spended
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spent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure was just under 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, household items,
vehical
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vehicle
 and
pesonal
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personal
 goods had almost the same
percentage
Use synonyms
, and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 the
income
Use synonyms
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
 to fuel and power took the
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
. Meantime, in 2018 the
percentage
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 of
income
Use synonyms
 devoted to leisure was the highest and made up over 20% The
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing took
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the
percentege
Correct your spelling
percentage
expedeture
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expenditure
expenditures
 for food amounted to 17%. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of household goods was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as in 1968. And the lowest amount of money was devoted to fuel and energy, clothing and
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 items.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, income, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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