Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Numerous research confirmed that many activities

such

Linking Words

as drinking alcohol, cigarette smoking, taking drugs etcetera are not in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of good health. Though the majority of folks are well-known about these activities which offer unhealthy results, still they are involved in those habits. I will explain the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, alongside the solutions to get rid of them.

Firstly

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, I will look into the causes that lured communities towards unhealthy trends. One of the major reasons to consume alcohol and smoke is, that the rich population consider it as a status symbol.

Also

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, I believe, the entertainment industry is performing a dominant role in emphasizing them as many celebrities,

sports

Correct word choice

and sports

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people by the way of movies and advertisements marketing these products.

Additionally

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, depression plays the biggest role in today's youth to indulge them in

life

Use synonyms

-threatening drugs. The main causes of depression are unemployment, isolation, over-ambitious nature,

hence

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, folks depend upon these things for temporary pleasures. Even though

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apply

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it is very difficult to change these habits, motivation from family members, peers, counselling, and strict regulations by the government can help a person to get out of these. The foremost step is that family members do not lose hope, they must guide and motivate them by showing affection and respect.

Furthermore

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, they should be counselled by

life

Use synonyms

coaches who show them the value of a human

life

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and give them the right pathway to a happy

life

Use synonyms

For example

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: Mr. Rupinder Singh,

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

life

Use synonyms

coach who is on a mission to make the world stress-free. Pupils should attend events of

such

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people who really assist them to amend their lifestyle

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apply

show examples

and thoughts. The government should

also

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restrict advertisements , limit their usage in films

etcetera

Correct your spelling

etc.

, and set high punishments for illegal drug trading. In conclusion, I would sum up by saying that even though it is very difficult to modify the lifestyle,

however

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, it is not impossible. With self-commitment, knowing about the beauty of

life

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, love and support from close ones, one can be successful in changing unhealthy practices to healthier ones namely, exercise, meditation, healthy food etcetera.

kanwalkaur05Thu May 01 2025

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lexical resource

Consider using more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. There are instances where you used simplistic words that could be replaced with more advanced synonyms.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. For example, using transition words can improve the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Add more specific examples, possibly from research or statistics, that directly relate to the unhealthy activities. This will lend more weight to your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

strength

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the reasons and solutions related to unhealthy activities.

strength

You presented relevant points regarding the influence of societal standards and the entertainment industry on unhealthy habits.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People face a lot of difficulty in giving a speech or presentation in public. If the children are being taught in schools, about how to give speech in public, would it be better. How important is it to learn how to speak in public? Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give relevant examples

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that citizens should pay tax to show their social responsibility. Others believe citizens should take other responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.