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Band 7.5

The table below shows the number of student who went abroad for further education from eight countries in 2005 and 2015, and the precentage change betwwen 2005 and 2015

The table below shows the number of student who went abroad for further education from eight countries in 2005 and 2015, and the precentage change betwwen 2005 and 2015
A glance at the table given illustrates the number of students who went overseas for higher degrees from eight countries between 2005 and 2015. The table
also
Linking Words
 shows the percentage difference between these two dates. Based on an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that between these years, the highest amount of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who studied abroad was in
China
Use synonyms
, whilst the lowest amount was in
Brazil
Use synonyms
 . From an initial figure, in 2005,
China
Use synonyms
 attained the first
position
Use synonyms
 at 413,000. The second
position
Use synonyms
 was the United States at 218,000 and the third
position
Use synonyms
 was India at 130,000. The following spots were South Korea,
Japan
Use synonyms
, Germany, Canada, and
Brazil
Use synonyms
, respectively. In 2015, the first place was
China
Use synonyms
 at 818,000,
while
Linking Words
 the second and third places were the United States and India at 325,000 and 256,000, respectively. The next countries were Germany, South Korea,
Japan
Use synonyms
, Canada, and
Brazil
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from 2005 to 2015, the highest incremental was
Brazil
Use synonyms
 at 109%,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest difference was
Japan
Use synonyms
 at 36%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 remained stable in these years at 107,000. In conclusion, even though
China
Use synonyms
 obtained the first
position
Use synonyms
, its percentage was not the highest since its change was only 98%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, brazil, position, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number
  • student
  • abroad
  • further education
  • countries
  • percentage change
  • 2005
  • 2015
  • table
  • data
  • trend
  • comparison
  • pattern
  • changes
  • factors
  • contributing
  • summarize
  • findings
  • observations
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