IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

The opinion on whether the cost of
petrol
Use synonyms
 should be increased to deal with the environmental issues, especially regarding traffic pollution, has sparked a heated discussion in recent years. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea because the high
price
Use synonyms
 of resources may prevent overconsumption of them from occurring.
However
Linking Words
, I
Add a missing verb
am concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about whether the producers of those chemical fuels gain too much
profits
Fix the agreement mistake
profit
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by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 an increase in the
petrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 effects which
this
Linking Words
 strategy has. If the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 is relatively affordable, people might overuse it and
unlikely
Add a missing verb
be unlikely
show examples
 to take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 harmless for our habitats. Traffic pollution
ia
Correct your spelling
is
 one of the significant
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 which we have to solve immediately since it causes
mutiple
Correct your spelling
multiple
 problems. If we do not take action
for preventing
Change preposition
to prevent
show examples
overusing
Replace the word
overuse
show examples
 from happening, the condition of our environment
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 get worse and worse. A rise in
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 provides people with chances to understand how severe ongoing
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues are.
While
Linking Words
 the higher
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 triggers positive effects as I mentioned before, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 measure has negative effects at the same time. More specifically, the companies and countries where they
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
show examples
 from exports of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
Use synonyms
 would ultimately get a great amount of
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
. It may accelerate economic division between the
oil producing
Add a hyphen
oil-producing
show examples
 countries and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 economic inequality leads to global conflict in the future. In conclusion, during the period when the overconsumption of
petrol
Use synonyms
 has been regarded as a significant problem, an increase in the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 might be a determination for refraining
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
 chemical fuels from wasting. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, we have to take into account
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether it facilitates the financial inequality among both countries exporting and importing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Try to organize your points in a way that builds upon one another.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This can enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
language accuracy
Be cautious with language accuracy and grammar, as errors can detract from your message. Proofreading could help.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion regarding the issue, which is essential for IELTS writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
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