In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

In different parts of the world, parents raise their offspring with the thought that working hard is the key to reaching their dream life.

This

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essay will show that

children

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, whose parents raise them with these beliefs, grow up being responsible and hardworking, but, at the same time, having mental disorders. On the one hand, exhortations about dedication and determination make them more disciplined. When young

people

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are given advice about being dedicated and doing their best, they learn how to control themselves and it is easier for them to solve any problems in adult life. As an example, here could be provided Japan.

People

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here are told to be responsible and hardworking from their childhood and they are considered as the most diligent citizens.

On the other hand

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, these words make

children

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non-confident and mentally unstable. When

people

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are raised in strict families and always expected to show high results and work hard, they often start feeling depressed and experiencing a lot of stress. It may cause serious health problems.

For instance

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, the rating of mental disorders and suicidal

behavior

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behaviour

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in Japan is the highest among young

people

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. The reason for

that is

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their families always tell them that they must try very hard and do everything to achieve their goals, and because of that

children

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become nervous and stressed out In conclusion, teaching

people

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from their youth to work hard makes

children

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more responsible and adaptable in future, but

also

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could lead to problems with mental health

sabanovasofia276Fri May 02 2025

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task achievement

Further clarify your main arguments to support your thesis more effectively and improve overall depth.

task achievement

Strengthen your examples to illustrate your points more vividly and relevantly to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Consider improving the connection between your ideas, especially between the advantages and disadvantages, for smoother transitions.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your concepts about mental health consequences are elaborated more clearly.

content

The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, recognizing both advantages and disadvantages.

content

The use of a real-world example (Japan) adds credibility and relevance to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work ethic
self-belief
perseverance
resilience
self-esteem
unrealistic expectations
external factors
inherent talent
disappointment
effort
achieve
overcoming obstacles
goals
pressure

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

Fully explain your ideas

Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree? Write your argumentative essay.

Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what level do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people are naturally born as leaders while others feel that leadership skills can develop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

* :: In some countries, there is an ever-increasing proportion of population among children who are 15 and younger. What are the effects of this in those countries?

many people say that everyone should be entitlled to free healthcare and that it is the responsibility of the government to provide this for their people. to what extent do you agree?