IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure,business and commercial purpose around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights? Do you think flight should be texted more?

flights
Use synonyms
 are introduced to reduce the travelling
time
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 across the seas
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 even take the
flights
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 to cover short distances or to just show their luxury.In recent years, there has been a significant rise in air travel globally, driven by tourism,
business
Use synonyms
 activities, and commercial needs.
there
Capitalize word
There
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 are both the advantages
as well as
Linking Words
 disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 essay.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss both in upcoming paragraphs. to commence with the advantages, the craze
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
flights
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
is increases
Change the verb form
is increasing
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 day by day and it
also
Linking Words
 has its own benefits
such
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 as it saves
the
Correct article usage
apply
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travelling
time
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the traffic is uncertain on the roads or sometimes the
people
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 do not arrive on the
meetings
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as well as
Linking Words
 for
teir
Correct your spelling
their
 projects on
time
Use synonyms
 so the airways
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the way to avoid wastage of
time
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 or to get on their destinations on the desired
time
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 to grow the
business
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 and make its goodwill in the market.
for
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 a man in India had started
its
Change the word
a
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 new
business
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 and the value is not too much to spend on luxury things
as
Correct word choice
apply
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when
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
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 got
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
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 first deal in
the other
Correct your spelling
another
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 city he decided to go by road but
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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missed the contract
due to
Linking Words
 late arrival as the other company had other scheduled
meetings
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. so to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
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 or to grow
business
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flights
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 are important.
in
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contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
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travelling or to spend their vacations
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
flights
Use synonyms
even
Change preposition
at even
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher prices just to show they are rich or to make their importance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society with money
as well as
Linking Words
 in result of
this
Linking Words
 sometimes businessmen do not get tickets on
time
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 for their
meetings
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 and sometimes the big contract got slipped from their hands,even
flights
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also
Linking Words
 had make the
people
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 lazy as in earlier times
people
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 like travelling on road to go somewhere
while
Linking Words
 enjoying the views or connecting with the
people
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 which they meet in their way,
whereas
Linking Words
 they had compromised their calmness and enjoyment just to save
time
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 by travelling in airways. in conclusion, my opinion is that the flight should be taken if necessary just to show richness or to impact other
flights
Use synonyms
 should not be taken as it
also
Linking Words
 harms the environment as well the pockets of a middle-class businessman.
people
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 aware of their
time
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 and should be active and use the roads they can to travel for their
business
Use synonyms
meetings
Use synonyms
 or the other contracts.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction, and consider including a thesis statement that summarizes your position on the advantages and disadvantages of flights.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs, which will improve the overall flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify your concluding statement to reinforce your main argument more powerfully and align it with your identified advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You provided a personal example, which is great for illustrating your point and adds a relatable touch to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Tourism
  • Economic growth
  • Aviation industry
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Noise pollution
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Taxation
  • Affordability
  • Sustainable aviation technology
  • Revenue
  • Climate change
  • Local economies
What to do next:
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