People have always imagined living in a perfect society, but there is no clear agreement on what that would look like. What do you think is the most important factor in creating a perfect society? How can we make this ideal society a reality?

People

Use synonyms

have always questioned the idea of a perfect

society

Use synonyms

although

Linking Words

there is

nowidely

Correct your spelling

no widely

accepted consensus on how it would be. I believe that a perfect community, though sounding rather utopian, can be best achieved when there is zero crime, corruption and starvation rates, total peace, and

ethics

Replace the word

ethical

show examples

obedience, which could be secured through educating

people

Use synonyms

, limiting

people

Use synonyms

’s

freedom

Use synonyms

to a certain extent, and improving food industry. One of the key elements of a perfect

society

Use synonyms

is crime disappearance.

People

Use synonyms

should commit no crimes, including corruption, eliminating

resent

Replace the word

resentment

show examples

both to each other and to government officials. Starvation must

also

Linking Words

be tackled to have an ideal

society

Use synonyms

, since when

people

Use synonyms

get hungry, they may not always act morally; they can commit crimes,

such

Linking Words

as shoplifting or pick-pocketing. More importantly,

people

Use synonyms

need to feel free to express themselves;

however

Linking Words

, there should be limits on what to consume, because consumerism is an ever-increasing issue, and it can have disastrous consequences if not properly regulated on time.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should have

freedom

Use synonyms

for their traditions and customs, they should not get discriminated for their race, religion, or gender. If all these expectations were to

meet

Wrong verb form

be met

show examples

, I believe there would

finally

Linking Words

be an ideal

society

Use synonyms

. To make it a reality, education is probably the strongest weapon to use.

People

Use synonyms

can be educated to live peacefully, not to commit any type of crime,

respect

Correct word choice

and respect

show examples

any member of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

regardless of their age,

along with

Linking Words

how to cultivate crops -a single move to solve a number of issues.

People

Use synonyms

must

also

Linking Words

learn to be tolerant

Change preposition

show examples

others. They must not insult or bully

people

Use synonyms

of other races, religions or

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

, which can be best accomplished by education.

However

Linking Words

, there should be limited

freedom

Use synonyms

, for when

people

Use synonyms

feel too free, they tend to act immorally, creating certain inhumane trends, like transgenders, LGBT, identifying themselves

asanimals

Correct your spelling

as animals

animals

and many more. US President Donald Trump’s recent official ban on other genders,

urgent

Correct word choice

and urgent

show examples

calls

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to behave normally

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

clearly highlight that

people

Use synonyms

should not be given excessive

freedom

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, even though it may sound miraculous to achieve a perfect

society

Use synonyms

in the future, I believe

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

society

Correct article usage

a society

show examples

would be crime-less, completely tranquil, without food shortage,

along with

Linking Words

independent members.

This

Linking Words

society

Use synonyms

could be achieved by limiting

people

Use synonyms

’s independence to avoid immorality, and

teachingpeople

Correct your spelling

teaching people

agriculture and immoral act avoidance.

makemoneyizzy16Sat May 03 2025

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task response

Your introduction presents a clear opinion about the most important factors in creating a perfect society. However, it would benefit from a more refined thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but making clearer transitions between ideas and using linking phrases would improve coherence. Each paragraph should flow more smoothly to enhance overall readability.

task response

Some of your arguments are compelling, but they require more supporting evidence or examples to strengthen your points. For instance, discussing specific educational programs could illustrate how education can reduce crime.

content

You provide a thought-provoking perspective on the concept of a perfect society, addressing essential issues such as crime and education.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

389 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

utopia
equity
sustainability
inclusivity
community engagement
social justice
opportunity
empowerment
economic stability
environmental protection
laws and policies
quality education
social cohesion
ideal society
citizen participation

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People have always imagined living in a perfect society, but there is no clear agreement on what that would look like. What do you think is the most important factor in creating a perfect society? How can we make this ideal society a reality?

Word Count

In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Is this a positive or negative development?

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many government spend a lot of money on art. Some people think this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their complexions in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?