IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

The trend of introducing laws to restrict working
hours
Use synonyms
 for
workers
Use synonyms
 has gradually spread over some countries.
That is
Linking Words
 because the large amount of working time causes some negative effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as mental health issues, a decrease in the quality of
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 and accelerating exploitation from employers. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a positive development because it ensures to provide
workers
Use synonyms
 with a stable and healthy life.
To limit
Fix the infinitive
Limit
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 working
hours
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 is substantially important in terms of protecting
employees
Use synonyms
' human rights.
Severe
Correct article usage
A severe
show examples
 working environment triggers various problems. First of all, the excessive amount of working time causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
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' mental health issues.
For example
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, in the case of Japan, depression by excessive work has been a significant problem because it leads to an increase in the rate of suicide.
Moreover
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, if laws to restrict working
hours
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 were not introduced,
employeers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 could easily exploit
workers
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 without taking care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their human rights. In fact, the previous history shows that many
employees
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 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
suffered from serious working
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
due to
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of enough law power to prevent exploitation from occurring.
Also
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, from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive perspective, adequate working time enhances
employees
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' performance and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ultimately contributes to
positive
Add an article
a positive
the positive
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 impact on companies' profits.
For example
Linking Words
, a company in Japan experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
considerable growth by promoting to secure
workers
Use synonyms
' work-life balance. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some countries
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
 to take action to limit working
hours
Use synonyms
 for
workers
Use synonyms
 for some reasons
such
Linking Words
 as protecting their health and human rights, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 introduction
makes
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a positive effect.

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task achievement
Clarify and enhance the introduction to clearly state your two main points: the reasons for limiting working hours and your perspective on it.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all arguments maintain focus on the main issue of working hours and are clearly linked to your viewpoint.
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided, elaborating on how they support your main arguments more comprehensively.
task achievement
The essay presents clear reasons for why laws to limit working hours are introduced, showcasing a relevant understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument that restricting working hours is a positive development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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