In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

There are countries where it is usual to have the first child at an older age. In
this
Linking Words
essay, the reasons in terms of attitude towards
marriage
Use synonyms
at older
ages
Use synonyms
and financial problems and advantages including enjoying early
life
Use synonyms
and disadvantages including health complications will be explored. Nowadays, in many countries, people tend to marry at older
ages
Use synonyms
. A large group of individuals prefer to have a girlfriend or boyfriend at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
and delay the
marriage
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they want to have enough time
for knowing
Change preposition
to know
show examples
their partner for
life
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the later
marriage
Use synonyms
occurs, the higher the age at which
children
Use synonyms
are born. Another reason is money. The price of products and accommodation is increasing worldwide and
also
Linking Words
it is difficult for many to find a stable job with
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
show examples
income.
Thus
Linking Words
, partners tend to have a baby when their finances are stable and they have enough money to support their
children
Use synonyms
’s
life
Use synonyms
. Delaying pregnancy could lead to various complications for
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
and her child. Women’s fertility starts to decline after the age of thirty and
also
Linking Words
the risks of giving childbirth will increase as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, plenty of chromosomal mutations could occur at older
ages
Use synonyms
which leads to giving birth to
children
Use synonyms
with maternal disorders including
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Down syndrome.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are benefits including getting the most
of
Change preposition
out of
show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
Use synonyms
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
of
marriage
Use synonyms
. Having
children
Use synonyms
during the initial years of
marriage
Use synonyms
will remove the opportunity for couples to enjoy
life
Use synonyms
as they want.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of young couples prefer travelling and enjoying their
life
Use synonyms
rather than sitting at home and raising their
children
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in some nations, couples tend to have
children
Use synonyms
later
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
happens
due to
Linking Words
a general tendency towards delaying
marriage
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
financial limitations.
Although
Linking Words
there are benefits including enjoying
life
Use synonyms
, health complications are a matter of concern which should not be
under estimated
Correct your spelling
underestimated
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your main points with more detail and examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next; consider using linking phrases to improve flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences could be more complex to enhance the richness of the language.
Task Achievement
Good identification of reasons and disadvantages of later childbirth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Shift
  • Trend
  • Societal norms
  • Education and career
  • Financial stability
  • Reproductive technologies
  • Delayed marriages
  • Parenting responsibilities
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: