IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them.however others do not agree .Discuss both sides and give our opinion

Many
people
Use synonyms
 emphasize that zone computers should replace old
books
Use synonyms
 and all
books
Use synonyms
 should be uploaded electronically to the computer. They think that if
books
Use synonyms
 were electronic
theyl
Correct your spelling
they
 would save a lot of money.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 is that decision positive or are there more drawbacks than advantages
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explore the pros and cons of all
books
Use synonyms
 that will be electronically. As I start by looking at the advantages one of the major plus points of
books
Use synonyms
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
electronically is that if
books
Use synonyms
 were virtual, they would have been a lot of money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, important
books
Use synonyms
 were burning up .As a matter of fact, humans came up with the idea of making
books
Use synonyms
 electronic. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 historical things had been written to
books
Use synonyms
 which burned up
books
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 don't know
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ancestors.
Although
Linking Words
books
Use synonyms
 will be electrons there are numerous beneficial sides,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 has more drawbacks, one of them is that special
books
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 aggravated when there will be computerized. At the same time, some
people
Use synonyms
 are violating the copyright of
books
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
books
Use synonyms
 were
electron
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
, old
people
Use synonyms
 wouldn't be able to read them.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,if humans stream
books
Use synonyms
 on their smartphones , they might get distracted.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , there are both positives and negatives of
books
Use synonyms
 that will electron. Personally, I believe the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 situation outweigh the disadvantages. In my personal opinion ,volumes will be electrons .Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 don't know his ancestors' history. When
books
Use synonyms
 became electronic the copyright of some tomes was stolen

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Clarify your main ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear point. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are well supported with specific examples or illustrations to strengthen your points.
language quality
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and word choice to improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is good practice for IELTS tasks.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a conclusion summarizing your opinion, which is a key component of essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repository
  • cultural hub
  • community engagement
  • digital divide
  • inequality
  • sustainable
  • affordability
  • technological advancement
  • information retrieval
  • hybrid resources
  • social interaction
  • evolution of libraries
  • complementary
  • access to information
What to do next:
Look at other essays: