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Band 6.5

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.

The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013.
The chart displays
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 5 successful companies between 2009 and 2013
Overall
Linking Words
,
Samsung
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 and
Nokia
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 were the leaders of the market throughout the period.
Nokia
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in
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apply
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2009 was the most famous company with more than 400
million
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sales
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.
Linking Words
While
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apply
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Samsung
Use synonyms
 was the second firm with just over 200
million
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.
However
Linking Words
, in 2011
Samsung
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 experienced a significant increase in their
sales
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 which was almost over 300
million
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. But
Nokia
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 saw a slight drop in their phone
sales
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2013
Samsung
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 saw a dramatic jump in their market which made almost 500
million
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sales
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.
While
Linking Words
Nokia
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 sharply declined in 2013. In 2009 Apple had the lowest
sales
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 among all the firms with no more than 100
million
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also
Linking Words
 ZTE never hit 100
sales
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.
However
Linking Words
, LG had more than 100
sales
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. in 2011 Apple and LG had the same
sales
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 around 90.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Apple's rose rapidly in 2013 to over 100
million
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. Meanwhile, LG and ZTE saw a gradual decline in their
sales
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words samsung, nokia, million, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global sales
  • Mobile phone brands
  • Market share
  • Trends
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Technological advancements
  • Innovation
  • Consumer preferences
  • Demographics
  • Market dominance
  • Brand loyalty
  • Comparative analysis
  • Sales figures
  • Data interpretation
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