IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

In recent times tourists are travelling more to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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destinations
Use synonyms
 that have adverse conditions, like the Antarctic or the
sahara
Change the capitalization
Sahara
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 desert. These
destinations
Use synonyms
 have some pros,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 tourists have to face some challenges at these
destinations
Use synonyms
. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I'll discuss both pros and
corns
Correct your spelling
cons
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 of these tourist
destinations
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, these
destinations
Use synonyms
 have become very attractive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 these days as these are less explored
destinations
Use synonyms
 and
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 difficult
terrane
Correct your spelling
terrain
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 adventure with the
vactions
Correct your spelling
vacation
. Talking about the pros, One of the main
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of these sites is that these are some of the less crowded
destinations
Use synonyms
 with more peace and
tranquality
Correct your spelling
tranquillity
.
As now days
Rephrase
Nowadays
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 most of the major
destiantions
Correct your spelling
destinations
, to name
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 like
paris
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Paris
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, london etc. are very crowded,
hence
Linking Words
 those who are looking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places for peaceful and
reguvenating
Correct your spelling
relaxing
 holidays are looking for
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of unexplored
destinations
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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on the other hand
Linking Words
, harsh weather conditions and low availability of basic facilities are the biggest
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 in these
destinations
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 harsh cold weather in
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
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 sometimes might become fatal and
paucity
Correct article usage
a paucity
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 of services like good health care in the case of emergency can become
nightmare
Add an article
a nightmare
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 for the
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 many
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 face severe
theats
Correct your spelling
threats
due to
Linking Words
 harsh weather at Mouth
everest
Change the capitalization
Everest
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, one of the famous tourist
destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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. In conclusion, places with adverse conditions have become more popular
amongts
Correct your spelling
amongst
among
new
Correct article usage
the new
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 generation than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conventional tourist
destinations
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they come with their own drawbacks.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that all points are well expanded with clear explanations and include more supporting details where necessary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider rephrasing some phrases for clarity and accuracy, and avoid repetitive expressions. Additionally, ensure that all ideas flow logically from one to another.
Task Achievement
Good effort in discussing the benefits and challenges of visiting difficult locations, indicating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is clear with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • unique experiences
  • ecosystems
  • conservation efforts
  • economic benefits
  • environmental degradation
  • habitat destruction
  • safety risks
  • extreme weather conditions
  • navigation
  • high price tag
  • specialized equipment
  • influx
  • strain on local resources
What to do next:
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