IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

Tourism is an industry in today's world.
People
Use synonyms
 like to visit different
places
Use synonyms
 of the world more than ever before, the main reason behind all
this
Linking Words
 change is because of easy access to information and knowledge about travelling and the availability of convenient facilities for travelling to any part of the world. If we talk about the pros and cons for a traveller
while
Linking Words
 visiting different
places
Use synonyms
, there is a huge contradiction between the views of
people
Use synonyms
 regarding
such
Linking Words
 advantages and disadvantages.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 who travel from one place to another, have to face hard
conditions
Use synonyms
 of weather
as well as
Linking Words
 harsh behaviour of the population of
such
Linking Words
 area. Most tourist like adventure and choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 where they can put themselves in tough
conditions
Use synonyms
 so they can enjoy their trip and get unique knowledge about the
places
Use synonyms
. The community who have enough time and money always try to
place
Wrong verb form
places
show examples
 like the Sahara desert and the Antarctic not only to enjoy
such
Linking Words
 adventure but
also
Linking Words
want
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to check their ability to handle hard living
conditions
Use synonyms
. I think
such
Linking Words
 type of travelling has a lot of benefits because the
people
Use synonyms
 who travel towards unique
places
Use synonyms
 have more chance to enjoy the natural atmosphere rather than the
people
Use synonyms
 who
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
avoided
. One more benefit which others do not have is that they could be able to have hidden knowledge about the place which lacking in the
people
Use synonyms
 who never visit there. The most important advantage, in my point of view, is that those
people
Use synonyms
 have powerful bodies and minds which help them to live in any type of hard living
conditions
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, I concluded with the words that travelling is all about discovering and exploring. If anyone has time and money, he should explore the beauty of nature, because travel gives you not only a sense of relaxation but
also
Linking Words
reveal
Correct subject-verb agreement
reveals
show examples
 hidden truths which could not be known without wandering.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more linking phrases and transitions between ideas. This will help make your essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant specific examples to support your points, particularly about the benefits and disadvantages of visiting challenging locations.
strength
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the pros and cons of tourism in difficult conditions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • unique experiences
  • ecosystems
  • conservation efforts
  • economic benefits
  • environmental degradation
  • habitat destruction
  • safety risks
  • extreme weather conditions
  • navigation
  • high price tag
  • specialized equipment
  • influx
  • strain on local resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: